Assertiveness Necessary Over Contract Questions
It happened again and I knew without a doubt the discussion would be difficult. An annual event I managed for nine years had increased in attendance, for the third year in a row, forcing my client to move the venue to another facility. With the event less than four weeks away, every logistical detail had to be revisited and vendors brought in to re-evaluate the site and their contracts as they added more services, equipment and staff. In the height of trouble shooting an event, I don’t remind my clients of a clause in my contract that states extra work beyond the original contract will be tallied and billed. In the middle of a crisis, I only want to support my clients and keep the event boat floating.
Within days of the special event’s completion, I contacted my client to tell her an additional invoice for extra service hours was being compiled. Like the past two years, I was questioned for the additional billing. I pointed out the contract clause and the fact we didn’t question other event vendor’s extra bills. The conversation was stressful as I defended added service hours. In the end, a detailed account of my hours and a well written letter to my client helped solve the situation. But the situation was unpleasant.
As women entrepreneurs, especially for those in service businesses when our time is money, it can be difficult to predict and plan the perfect service contract. We might not bill for all the hours we know we’ll perform or we might not want to bill our clients when extra work is requested. We may lack the confidence or nerve to ask for what we deserve. There isn’t a perfect science to projecting hours for a lengthy project; often times as great customer service providers we lose.
But sometimes we have to be assertive, watching out for ourselves and our bottom line. It can be uncomfortable to have a tense conversation with a favorite client or to ask for what is fair, but we need to do it and we have to be confident in the discussion.
Today’s blog is to remind you that being an entrepreneur requires a self-assured approach to handling difficult situations or complicated billing issues with clients. If we know we performed our duties as promised, have a record of the time spent, and a contract that outlines the situation, we must solicit for compensation no matter what.
If today’s the day you have been waiting to collect on past bills, now is the time to secure them. If you realize you need a stronger contract for 2022, add it to your must do list for January. Seek counsel or advice from other women entrepreneurs who have similar businesses and see what content is in their contracts. Only by being confident and assertive can we get what is just.
Remembering What’s Important 2 Weeks Before Christmas
Monday Motivation, Tuesday Thoughts for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners
In December 2012, I witnessed one of the dearest moments in my life. It took place a week before Christmas in the midst of the holiday hustle. More bright and clearer than any other memory, this one stands out as the holiday approaches and inspires me to share it every year.
Not too far away from the Christmas Carol script or any Hallmark Holiday movie sentiment, was the love of 40 people joining around a woman battling her last days of cancer at Francis House in Syracuse, to give her a special holiday moment that would last for eternity. Every year, just like the worn-out, yellowed pages of some favorite holiday stories, I share this memory on my blog to remind people what’s most important this time of year.
Before I share the original blog post below, stop and think of all the people you know who have battled with cancer this year or lost their lives to the Coronavirus, or dealt with other sufferings, and pray for them and that they receive as much peace and joy as this event brought our friend Debbie. Read on….stay blessed and be a blessing to others…
Original Post:
A good friend of my husband and I who battled ovarian cancer for five years was admitted to Francis House in Syracuse. Understanding the Francis House provides a beautiful home and an extended family to people with terminal illnesses so they can die with dignity and experience the unconditional love of God, I knew our friend had a week to live. The news came as a shock although we knew she was still battling the disease.
Debbie was a woman who had a very large spirit and joyful personality. She was tenacious about beating the disease and not letting the disease beat her. So when we received a special invitation from her husband to join him for a surprise “celebration” at the Francis House one evening we accepted immediately. Knowing how much she wanted to see all the people she loved, he threw her one last party and invited 40 of her closest family and friends.
I’ll never forget the smile on her face and the joy that radiated from her as she entered a room full of loved ones. She had the grace and dignity to thank everyone with a powerful speech that couldn’t have been written better by Hollywood writers. Everyone had a chance to celebrate with her one more time and with each other, to take a photo with her, to say good-bye to her when she was alive and not at a funeral home, to say all the things that mattered, and to leave with a lighter heart than when they arrived.
I said to her husband as I left, “You have given everyone here one of the greatest gifts of all time – you gave us the gift of being together to celebrate her while she was still alive and to see her happy one last time.” I will always remember her in that happy moment.
Two days later Debbie passed away with her husband by her side and 40 people very grateful for the amazing memory of her last celebration filled with pure love and friendship. It was an early Christmas present and a gift I will never forget.
This special blog post is to remind you to live life with as much joy as you can. To take the time to tell the ones you love, what they mean to you. To celebrate the good and bad times together with those who mean the most to you. It’s truly a gift for the ages and one we must give ourselves every day of our lives.
Choose Compassion: Coming Out Colton Lessons
As the wind howled outside my large floor-to-ceiling windows, the cozy, worn, brown-leathered couch called for me to sit awhile. Busy from the high-paced fall, solo time was missing. Never someone to watch purposeless programs on the tube, I landed on the new Netflix show “Coming Out Colton” and decided to watch the first episode.
A combination of seeing Colton Underwood from a few Bachelors shows and having three gay and two lesbian cousins, made me interested in what the show was going to share about coming out. One of my gay cousins is as close as a brother is to me and understanding his world is important. Of course, I have accepted him immediately since telling me about his sexuality, because I’ve loved him all my life. Being gay, didn’t make any difference to me, although that wasn’t true for everyone in his life.
After watching four episodes of Colton’s show, I concluded my thoughts on the series – mainly feeling overwhelmingly sad for anybody who has to hide from who they are because society, their family and even friends won’t accept them. Not long ago, the reality of this truth hit me personally in a much different way, when I lost all my hair to alopecia and put myself “in a closet” trying to hide my new, natural bald look at the age of 55 from others and hoping my husband of 33 years and two adult sons saw and loved me the same way.
It truly is a different issue because most of the time I am greeted with compassion when others see me and think I am recovering from cancer and show acts of kindness. Other times, I get stares, especially from children who once in awhile say, “Hey, is that a man or a woman” when I’m only wearing a baseball cap. I cringe wishing I wore longer earrings or more pink to stop their questions. So, I easily identify with the sadness I see watching “Coming Out Colton” as the discussion of coming out gay has caused so much pain and anxiety for so many who can’t change who they are, just like I can’t change being bald.
I wish everyone with an opinion one way or the other about homosexuality, would watch at least the first few episodes of the show with a compassionate heart to see that people are just people who want to be accepted and loved for who they are, what they look like, and how they were made. Internal personal struggles are hard enough to deal with, without commentary and judgement from others. Let’s learn to be much more compassionate people filled with kindness and an openness to accept good people the way they are, no matter what.
Monday Motivation: Commit to the Change Ahead
Today’s blog post is a repost from 2015. The wisdom contains the same message to me, and hopefully you, today.
Business Advice for Women Entrepreneurs and Small Businesses
The quote, “The hardest part about making a decision is the time leading up to the decision,” has always been something I’ve said to those I’ve loved or counseled when they had a big decision in front of them. The “knowing” of needing to make a change festers in our soul ready to escape the moment we give in to a resolution. Whether in life or in business, decisions can be difficult.
For a couple months I have pondered making some changes within my business. When the uneasiness or the “knowing” struck me late summer, I knew I needed to give myself enough time to ruminate about it, speak with a few trusted people and then when the time was right to begin the change. I think we all wish change could occur at the snap of our fingers but meaningful change…
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Thursday Thought: Small Acts of Kindness
It was an ordinary trip to the grocery store; I was just running in to get some fresh produce for a special dinner menu for my husband. Per usual, the bright, beautiful floral department with all its smells and luscious invitations to buy them, was just before the vegetables. I stopped and gazed at the array with the thought, “stop to smell the roses” in my hurried step.
As I was gazing at some beautiful pale purple roses, a woman joined me and softly commented on how lovely they were. I told her to buy some for herself because women deserve flowers around them as much as possible. She looked down and gently said, “I don’t have the money for them.” My gut instinct was that she was telling the truth. I felt her sadness.
I wished her well as I took a dozen of the lavender roses with me. After finishing my grocery shopping, I decided to walk to my car, parked close to the entrance, and wait for the woman to appear. As she left the store, with only a small bag of items, I approached her with 3 of the purple roses and gave them to her as a gift. Her eyes welled up with gratitude and love.
Later that day looking around my office at all the pink rose items that represent the love my female Italian relatives have for one another and give as gifts; my heart filled again with love for the woman I showed some tenderness to and how much it meant to her.
As you hurry in and out of stores this holiday season, and speed down streets trying to hit the green lights, don’t forget to stop and notice who is around that might need a small gift of attention. If we can’t stop to “smell the roses” at times like these, we can’t be an unexpected blessing to another human being.
Wednesday Wisdom: Money Magic
Wednesday Wisdom, Motivation for Women, Women Entrepreneurs, Small Businesses
Walking down the silent halls of the once bustling Destiny USA Mall, projected an eerie feeling in a typically joyful time of year for retailers. Once thriving storefronts with holiday specials, were visually boarded up with plastic wrap. Even the festive holiday balls hanging from the massive atrium were missing, and I couldn’t find Santa to get my photo taken. Major anchor retailers like Lord and Taylor and JC Penny showed bare shelves once packed with holiday sweaters, makeup boxes, and bling. All I could think about, not having not been to the mall in a long time, was how hard hit businesses were due to the Pandemic.
Most of the year I only focus on small, quaint, woman-owned boutiques, giftware, and services, never visiting gigantic malls or online stores partly because I’m not a shopper but also because I spend my money with women entrepreneurs. Sitting in my home-based office much of 2020 and 2021, I’ve missed the complete emptying of major streets and shopping buildings only focused on how to help the smallest of businesses affiliated with my organization or community so it shocked me to witness the wide open vault of gutted stores and restaurants as if “destiny” did in fact occur.
December doesn’t typically lend itself to sadness unless we’ve lost loved ones during the year or people we care about are struggling mentally or physically because somehow happiness is found in the small things like holiday sounds, sights, food, and faith. Most times for me, happiness is found financially or inspirationally supporting another sister entrepreneur. Walking down those vacant mall corridors reminds me where my heart lies and why sharing my buying mission is so important every week. It’s to garner enough monetary action that a woman-owned company doesn’t end up vacant like the mall
This Wednesday Wisdom, as you prepare your long list of tasks for the upcoming holiday, is meant to remind you not to forget about a sister entrepreneur who might need you purchase, advice, smile, ear, or shoulder no matter how busy you are. Make the extra time on your list to check in on other female business owners to make sure they aren’t facing a future of boarded up windows or aspirations themselves.
We in fact, as women with purchasing power, have the ability to change lives and keep doors open with a little touch of holiday cheer and money magic.
Entrepreneurial Thoughts on a Blue Monday
Over the right side of my desk sits a calming aquarium with gurgling sounds, soft floating bubbles from the aerator, and green seaweed. The feng shui experts would applaud my choice in setting a quaint, peaceful setting in the midst of my busy 26-year entrepreneurial home office. The aquatic symbol reminds me of my love for swimming, snorkeling, and all things water.
My “partner-in-crime” in business, the past five years has been a brilliant blue cichlid named……wait for it….”Blue,” my youngest son’s first pet that accompanied him his last year at Syracuse University. At times, Blue’s tank had accidental vodka and beer poured into it by drunken fraternity brothers of my son, but he survived in the college atmosphere. Maybe he thrived on my son’s love for him.
When our son graduated and moved to New York City, he asked us to take Blue in as our pet. Knowing I wasn’t allergic to him, like I am to cats and dogs, we agreed. As empty nesters, the song, “Me and You, and our Fish Named Blue” became mine and my husband’s favorite little tune. What else are you supposed to do when faced with an empty house after twenty-two years of loving to parent two boys? Eventually we bought Blue a larger tank as he grew bigger (most likely due to his water being cleaner) and he became a large part of my work environment.
“You are feeding him too much, Mom,” my son would say returning home to check in on his fish. “Well, I’m Italian, what do you expect? He looks hungry all the time,” I retorted. After Adam would leave to go back to the Big Apple, Blue and I would settle back into our business life working and swimming in the Women TIES Office. When I’d leave for appointments, I’d tell him I’d return soon and when I did he would come to the edge looking for food and a greeting.
I know, I know…..fish don’t have large brains but when you hang out with another living entity for five years, you get them, you know? When I’d be on the phone or playing music while I worked, Blue was more alive dipping and diving in his serene space. Glancing at him once in a while made me happy. Is that crazy to admit?
So when I entered my office at 7 a.m. on this December Monday morning before turning on his light, I could see he wasn’t in his familiar greeting place. Sure enough, Blue had gone to the big fishing pond in the sky during the night leaving me to have a “Blue Monday” and singing a new tune, “Blue Christmas.” I know, I know….it is silly to be used to having a fish as a companion but all you animal and fish lovers out there understand the quietness existing in my office today.
Today’s blog post is a cheer to my partner-in-crime Blue and the presence he brought to my sea foam green office. The aquarium still gurgles but it is missing its pride and joy, and my entrepreneurial sidekick. Remember to appreciate your staff, partners, sidekicks, and even animals that make your work space a joyful place. Swim freely in peace today Blue! You’ll be missed.
Wednesday Wisdom: Joyful Business Inspiration
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Businesses
There is a wonderful quote by a Jesuit priest that says, “It’s not joy that makes us grateful, it’s gratitude that makes us joyful.” If this statement is true, then you should be reading this Wednesday Wisdom with a joyful spirit, having spent the last weekend being thankful for friends, family, food, and hopefully holiday shopping revenue from customers. It makes sense the end of our country’s holiday of gratitude leads right into the season of commercial and religious joy.
What I loved most about working in a Jesuit institution for seven years in Syracuse, and then heard sitting in an auditorium with accepted students at Boston College with my oldest son, was their mission in teaching students to reflect deeply on who they are and how they want to live their lives, and then promote engagement with the complex problems of today’s world to make a lasting difference in their careers.
As my eyes welled with tears, understanding this mission as part of my own life, I loved the fact my son would be taught to look at the world not just through a commercial, money-making lens when he graduated, but through compassionate awareness of where his best skills could be used to make life better for others. He decided to combine his passion for sports and medicine to work in an all-woman’s orthopedic practice at the best hospital in New York City as a Surgical Physician’s Assistant.
This thought rings in my ears and on my fingertips today as I ask you to contemplate what small or large positive impacts you can make this joyful season for your clients, staff, and community where your business resides? Does your company have a corporate giving policy? Do you consider your employee’s needs as limited vacation days arrive at year’s end? Is it possible to give holiday bonuses to employees or gifts to favorite customers?
Sometimes it isn’t about what we sell, how much we sell or who we sell to, it is about the overall contributions we make in our lives to others. If we are thankful being women entrepreneurs and filled with joy from that gratitude, what percentage of what we do or make can or should be given away to help others?
You don’t have to watch the Christmas Carol or attend a Jesuit college to understand a joyful heart is owned by a giving person who cares deeply for those around them. How we distribute our joy this month of December will set our gratitude levels. Why not make it as joyful as you can with what you have?
Small Business Saturday With a Twist
Inspiration, Buying Power, and Motivation for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners
The blustery weather accompanied by the warmth of a firewood heat has a way of making you want to stay indoors on a day like this, but when you are wearing a RBG rose-colored sweatshirt thinking about pay inequality and a personal mission for three decades to promote as many woman-owned companies as possible to help level the financial playing field, shopping clothes call to get your out the door and purchasing at your member’s female-owned small businesses in town.
Each year I encourage, and follow my own mission, for people to buy from female small businesses every Small Business Saturday and every day of the year. But when we are all living in the post-pandemic business world where storage containers are still stuck in China, Amazon is making billions of dollars, and female entrepreneurs have been hardest hit by the lack of a traditional revenue-making year, it is up to women and men, to place their money in the hands, pocketbooks, and even Pay Pal accounts of woman-owned companies.
In our inventory of members, we have original jewelry makers, authors, artists selling their works, shop owners selling clothes, notecard suppliers, restaurants offering gift certificates, and more. All it takes is a heart, mission, and action plan to get out the door and shop locally at a woman-owned company even if she is a seller of other people’s products. You are still putting money in her hands.
Because I believe in promoting regional and New York State businesses owned by women, online shopping is a total possibility if you don’t want to put on your hats, mittens and boots to shop on an inclement day. Ask away and I’ll supply you with their website links. Whatever I can do to support you in buying from women, I will do.
Shopping with a mission like supporting small business is essential for them and us each holiday season because people spend money this time of year. I passionately ask you to support me, in supporting them, and keeping women-owned companies surviving and thriving. I’m grateful for your shopping decisions.
Wednesday Wisdom: Early Thanksgiving Thoughts
Tuesday Thoughts, Thanksgiving Message, Wednesday Wisdom
Sitting in the deep woods with my husband with frosted leaves, deep earth smells, tall stark trees, at 5:30 a.m. on opening deer hunting day, reminded me of the American pilgrims and my male ancestors. The tradition of hunting deer to early settlers was serious business, often of almost life-and-death importance. Hunting played an important role and development of our country which would not have advanced as rapidly as it did without the aid of meat and skins it supplied. My father and grandfather looked forward to hunting season every year.
One early autumn day after my husband voiced his disappointment not having anyone to hunt with on opening day, I decided to surprise him by taking a long online hunting safety course to get my license. The intensive course compiled ten long chapters, chapter quizzes, and a 100-question final exam. It took about a month for me to complete fitting it into all my female-focused business work. I figured if anything good came of these lessons, at least the part of my brain that never thought about guns, animal anatomy, or ammunition was being awakened with knowledge. It helped one of the online instructors was a woman.
Once I passed the course and told my husband, he took me to a shooting range where I must admit, I hit a bullseye my first-time shooting. With my cool gun glasses on, blaze orange attire, and sharp shooting skills, I was ready to go on this “buck”et list adventure. Having watched two women survive and almost win a million dollars surviving in the artic circle a month prior on television, and with hunter’s genes in my DNA, I embraced the experience.
What I can tell you is after sitting as still as possible so you don’t alert the pry, you start contemplating the way of life this was for those early American adventurers who had to forge, fight, and hunt to survive in a new country. Without a switch to turn on heat, running water to quench their thirst, or a grocery story with processed food, you soon realize how blessed our generation has it. I’m not sure how we complain as much as we do about what we don’t have, when we have all we need at our fingertips.
Although hunting will never be what I want to do, the experience made me more aware of modern day advances, the importance of a healthy environment for animals and humans, the beauty of nature, and the abundance we each have compared to our ancestors. I hope today’s post inspires you to witness the plain, simple gifts in front and around you and be truly thankful for them.
I am full of gratitude every week when someone reads my inspirational and business writings, allowing me into their lives in some small way, hoping it makes a positive difference. I wish you a blessed and happy Thanksgiving.
Women TIES 