Choose Compassion: Coming Out Colton Lessons

As the wind howled outside my large floor-to-ceiling windows, the cozy, worn, brown-leathered couch called for me to sit awhile. Busy from the high-paced fall, solo time was missing. Never someone to watch purposeless programs on the tube, I landed on the new Netflix show “Coming Out Colton” and decided to watch the first episode.

A combination of seeing Colton Underwood from a few Bachelors shows and having three gay and two lesbian cousins, made me interested in what the show was going to share about coming out. One of my gay cousins is as close as a brother is to me and understanding his world is important. Of course, I have accepted him immediately since telling me about his sexuality, because I’ve loved him all my life. Being gay, didn’t make any difference to me, although that wasn’t true for everyone in his life.

After watching four episodes of Colton’s show, I concluded my thoughts on the series – mainly feeling overwhelmingly sad for anybody who has to hide from who they are because society, their family and even friends won’t accept them. Not long ago, the reality of this truth hit me personally in a much different way, when I lost all my hair to alopecia and put myself “in a closet” trying to hide my new, natural bald look at the age of 55 from others and hoping my husband of 33 years and two adult sons saw and loved me the same way.

It truly is a different issue because most of the time I am greeted with compassion when others see me and think I am recovering from cancer and show acts of kindness. Other times, I get stares, especially from children who once in awhile say, “Hey, is that a man or a woman” when I’m only wearing a baseball cap. I cringe wishing I wore longer earrings or more pink to stop their questions. So, I easily identify with the sadness I see watching “Coming Out Colton” as the discussion of coming out gay has caused so much pain and anxiety for so many who can’t change who they are, just like I can’t change being bald.

I wish everyone with an opinion one way or the other about homosexuality, would watch at least the first few episodes of the show with a compassionate heart to see that people are just people who want to be accepted and loved for who they are, what they look like, and how they were made. Internal personal struggles are hard enough to deal with, without commentary and judgement from others. Let’s learn to be much more compassionate people filled with kindness and an openness to accept good people the way they are, no matter what.