Be Yourself: Rainbows and #41 For the Win
Thursday Thoughts on Nature, Fitness, Alopecia, and Self-Image
Out the window to the west, a pale rainbow, barely visible and not a frequent early morning sighting in mid-November in Upstate New York, shimmered. The forecast was 58 balmy degrees by 8 a.m. dropping during the day until snow arrived later on. The rainbow and temperature beckoned my soul to rise quickly for an early morning bike ride.
As I passed, “all the little ants marching” (lyrics from the Dave Matthews Band) their way to work on the busy highway leading me to my favorite bike trail, joy overwhelmed me due to my 26-year flexible career schedule which allows me to exercise when I want and report to work, in my own office, when I want. Knowing the rest of my day was filled with an online course and a client luncheon out of town, I took the opportunity to follow my heart and rainbow for the early fitness jaunt.
As you can imagine, no one else was biking on the barren trail which now showed the lake right at my side since all the leaves blew away. The smell of mud, old leaves, and water reminded me of my childhood growing up on a lake where I was content and happy being lakeside as often as I could. The earthy smell, perhaps turning someone else off, made me nostalgic so I breathed it in.
After a few miles on the 9-mile trail got me warmed up and rain drops started to fall, I didn’t think of going back to my car but taking off the hat covering my totally bald head to feel the raindrops on my skin. A few walkers looked at me with puzzling looks, not smiling, even though I did. Perhaps my bald image shocked them first thing in the morning, most people see me and think I have cancer, but my strong legs and fast bike speed probably confused them.
Weaving in and out of rain drops, I got happier. It’s taken 3 years to adjust to being bald and on rainy bike days like this morning, when I use to care if my hair got wet and messy, I realized my fortune at not caring. Losing one’s self image, might make you lose yourself in the beginning of an ordeal, but over time you become aware of the small blessings it brings. For me, it was enjoying every rain drop falling on my head, the freedom of not caring what I looked like, the cold wind whipping past my sweaty head, and the cool breezes perking up my cheeks to a pale color pink.
It really doesn’t matter what people think about you or what you are doing in life as long as you truly enjoy yourself and your daily decisions. This is the one piece of wisdom I’ve learned from my alopecia diagnosis and 3-year life as a bald woman. Sure, I wish I had my long, thick brown hair back, but if I did, would I ever feel the warming touch of a cool rain drop or the wind whirling around my skin, or even the puzzling looks from strangers that make me laugh internally. No, I wouldn’t.
As the bike ride started to end in front of the St. Joseph’s Amphitheater where I saw the Dave Matthews Band play in August, with the song #41 in my ear pods, and another rainbow appearing before my eyes, I looked down at my watch to see I had been biking for 41 beautiful, bald minutes in a space of joy and contentment. I hope you find as much happiness in your day as I found in mine. Look for it. Live it. Enjoy it. Relish it. We only have one!
Wednesday Wisdom: The Gift of Re-Engagement
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration, Success Strategies for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Businesses
The old white mansion stood solid on the corner piece of property. Its columns, with a pink flowering plant still blooming above the porch floor with rustic leaves swirling around its base due to the wind, welcomed guests under its roof. Inside a glass paned door led to a stunning foyer. To the left of the entrance way was a fireplace with enough windows to welcome in the late autumn-colored day, and a conference table adorned with golden-leafed plants.
It was the perfect setting for a first-time return event in the Mohawk Valley, specifically Rome, New York, where our hostess Michelle Shauger’s office resides along with the building’s owner Kim Cook, CPA. Not knowing how many women might attend, Michelle and I decided to take the chance and see. We were both content with whoever showed up knowing some women remain tentative about public events.
To our joy, fifteen wonderful business women joined us as we sat around the long table, like an early Thanksgiving Day gathering, sharing a meal and conversing about strategies that got us through the worst part of the pandemic. What was amazing was the fact that the most often noted success strategy was re-engaging on a more intimate level with customers.
Whether it was dropping off free books to clients, having personal Zoom calls with long-time customers just to stay in touch, adapting services to cater to clients who were timid about doing business face-to-face or even signing documents, or treating special clients to gifts accompanied by Zoom calls to show them how to use the sent gifts. Old fashion customer service opportunities arose and helped these woman-owned businesses survive.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom, the week before the most grateful holiday of the year, contemplate some of these strategies and implement them yourself or have a brain storming session with your staff on ways to honor, gift, and show customers your appreciation. You know your clients better than anyone else.
Also, realize you have different customers with varying tolerance levels for risking their health post-pandemic, and custom design options for different groups.
What is important is they know you still care about them especially this time of year, which should carry into a happier 2022.
Ode to Dave Matthews: Wisdom in Watching
Monday Motivation, Monday Mood, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs and Small Businesses
Entering the green lit perimeter of one of the iconic New York City venues with my “Love” hat, sparkling top, facemask, proof of vaccination, and my husband, sons and their girlfriends by my side, I hoped my 32nd Dave Matthews Band Concert would be all I hoped. Having watched them in many New York State venues, Madison Square Garden wasn’t one of them but it hummed of electric Manhattan energy.
With tickets on the 2nd level with fantastic acoustics, I melted into the atmosphere of over 15,000 other DMB groupies, while we sang their most popular songs at the top of our lungs. Every word. Every beat. Every light ray. We all sang, swayed, laughed, smiled, rejoiced, and lived each moment. It might sound corny, but it was a beautiful union of diverse people singing familiar tunes of one band in unison. Any diversity of age, gender, ethnicity, or sex, dissipated into the evening’s melodies and acoustic rhythms.
In a fleeting serious moment, as a woman entrepreneur who started her business two years earlier than Dave Matthews started his band, I relished in what he has done to really make it in a world of a million business owners. Sure, his God-given voice and musicianship helps with success, but thinking of how hard he had to market this product, play across the globe to gain a massive following, all while give away money to help many causes, is an entrepreneurial wonder, and one I marvel and deeply appreciate.
I have produced thousands of events over my three-decade career, spoken on stages to hundreds in the crowd, wrote a popular column for eleven years for my local newspaper, authored books, and have a pretty good “fan” following, but nothing like Dave Matthews. Jealousy doesn’t get you anywhere, but recognizing someone’s else’s success is motivating to the depths of one’s soul. Hats off to him and his hard-working band for the countless hours they contribute to their sound and success, always giving their fans a “good good time” as one of his songs is titled.
Today’s Monday Motivational blog post is to inspire you to watch your most popular bands, actors, actresses, establishments, CEOs, and companies and observe what they did to make themselves ultra popular and successful, and see if you can infuse some of their strategies, mindsets, or actions into your own life and enterprise.
You don’t need Dave Matthews voice to be a hit, you need fortitude, good fortune, and appreciation to gain that kind of success.
Wednesday Wisdom: Everything Has a Life Span
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Nature Lovers, Tree-Huggers
An elderly neighbor walks gingerly up our hilly road daily pausing briefly to stare at lined 100-year-old maple trees on the edge of our property. One day he reminisced with us about walking up the road soon after the trees were planted. Now an 84-year old man still living in his childhood house, he appreciates them. These gorgeous old maple trees were part of the reason the house was so warming to me 31 years ago when we bought the old farmhouse since I grew up underneath similar trees in my childhood home.
In the movie Forest Gump, Forest’s wife Jenny is buried under an old tree they played on as children when she ran away from home due to sexual abuse. In the tree’s arms, she was safe and secure, happy and content, and wished never to return home. One of the last scenes in the award winning movie was the tree’s enormous breath hovering over the white tombstone protecting Jenny’s resting place forever.
I’ve had the same obsession and feeling about trees my entire life. Raised in a house dating back to 1792, in the historic town of Rome, New York, not long after Fort Stanwix was built and finished in 1762. Lining our long driveway were tall maple trees and my bedroom with its beautiful dormer window above my bed is where I stared at their branches before drifting off to sleep. My bedroom is also where I worried, the trees would be blown over in a thunder storm losing my natural friends.
Slowly one by one the six maple trees that adorned my adult home have cracked, split, lost their limbs, and blown apart by the elements. Watching parts of them slowly die over time, while rejoicing in their shade, changing colors, and protection from the snow, has been a gift. As my mom, a landscaper said to me, “Tracy, trees have life spans just like people do. You have to let them go when it is their time to go.” Today was that day for two of them.
Leaving the house with the loud buzzing of death ripping through my beautiful friends, I grabbed my bike and headed out to ride under another canopy of trees that line my favorite bicycle trail. For a fleeting moment, I was safe again under the branches of golden orange leaves on a cool November day realizing the leaves had been green earlier this year, but over time withered on the vine in blazing hues, before ending their lives on the bike path below. Yes, everything has a life span, especially in the Northern part of the USA when all four seasons are felt with deep conviction.
But I realize and so must you, just like trees, we can’t stop time from aging us physically. Every day our bodies die just a little bit more (according to my medical son), just like the trees and seasonal plants. Roses don’t bloom in the winter. Daffodils don’t come up until the spring, and lightening bugs don’t shine bright until July. So, we must live each day and season of our life to its fullest realizing at some point, if we are lucky, when we are in our mid-eighties like my neighbor, we can look back and be happy watching the things and people we care about during the passage of time.
Monday Motivation: The Flip Side of the Coin
Monday Motivation, Inspiration, Business Success Strategies for Women Entrepreneurs, Consumers, Small Businesses
Yesterday 130 Happy Birthday messages poured into my Facebook feed, 22 people donated $660 through my Facebook fundraiser for the National Alopecia Areata Foundation, and 3-D gifs sparkled, rang, and illuminated my screen, all making my 57th birthday a wonderful affair. This topped with personal messages, phone calls, dinners, plays, and even a 14-mile bike ride added to this annual event of turning another year older. How blessed I feel today.
While Facebook continues to face allegations of complaints due to amplifying hate online, allowing misinformation and pollical unrest, and hiding pertinent information from the public which is now being disclosed by whistleblowers, it contradicts the experience, I had with the company yesterday. We all know there are two sides of every coin and you can’t have one side without the other.
As a 26-year small business owner, having learned about monopolies in my college business courses, I realize ultra-large global companies like Facebook, Amazon, and others take breathe out of the small guys and gals. It’s a reason I’ve preached for two decades for women entrepreneurs to put their money in the hands, pocketbooks and bank accounts of other women owned businesses first and foremost, to attempt to level the economic playing field.
95% of my purchasing decisions are made with small companies. I don’t need Small Business Saturday to remind me to support local companies, but sometimes consumers can’t help but participate, play, and spend time on and with large corporate entities who have a “corner” of the marketplace. David vs. Goliath has been a long-time analogy that works perfect in small business America. But I must say, without Facebook having the capital, marketing reach, and staff to develop the ability for their customers to raise money for their favorite non-profits once a year on their birthdays, the near $700 donation to a non-profit near and dear to my heart, and bald head, wouldn’t typically be possible.
We can live, work and buy in a world where we choose what we do, who we spend time with, and what companies we support. Don’t look at any business entity as small or big, but rather for the perks, services, and benefits they offer you, the consumer. Choose wisely by earmarking a certain percentage of your buying dollars on a mix of companies – large and small this day, and during the holiday purchasing season. You have the choice to place your hard-earned money where you want and making a difference in this large global, and yet small-micro community of ours.
Wednesday Wisdom: Using Fandom to Prosper
Wednesday Wisdom, Hump Day, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Small Business Owners
2,706 miles across amber waves of grain, mountains and lakes, a new acquaintance spoke softly in my earphones welcoming me. This was going to be a unique conversation, one I rarely have, especially during a work day, but it was an opportunity to talk about another passion in my life besides business, so I jumped at the chance. You never know who is listening to a 4-season successful podcast on the other side of the country who might want to buy from you.
The 90-minute chat flew by faster than an airplane taking me from Central New York to Santa Monica, California, where the podcaster was located as I answered multiple questions about my passion for the music of the Dave Matthews Band. As I told the man who was interviewing me, the band was the only male vendor I allowed in my life based on my business philosophy of only buying from women business owners, he seemed surprised or at least his pause made me believe so.
Questions of concert memories, favorite lyrics, and specific songs that had personal messages for me, were poised with my answers unabashedly honest realizing the interviewer was twenty-five years younger. Sharing my Woodstock ’99 memory (above) where I first heard them play, taking my son to his first concert in Boston and the other one to his first show in Saratoga, and why when I became bald only DMB music got me through, I realized talking with another fan of something similar was heart-warming and enlightening.
I’m used to talking to other fans of women entrepreneurs so it has become second nature to me; so, chatting that long about something else with a stranger was enjoyable so much so that I encourage you to list your top three passions (outside of your career) and find some podcasts to listen to – and then pitch yourself to speak on them. You are as much an expert as the next fan in your area of personal hobbies so do something about it and change up your day and reach a new audience.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom encourages you to branch out of your niche into the outer circles of your interests to find some new people to hang around with, get excited talking or listening to, and reminding yourself there are multiple sides to your persona. You might find a new way to connect across the country or globe, with like-minded individuals, getting yourself in front of new people that might hire or buy from you once they get to know you. There is extra promotion with links to websites and social media sites that podcasters offer to repay you for participating in one of their shows too.
Blogging, zooming, and podcasting are just a few ways to get involved and expand your marketplace while sharing similar interests with others funneling new customers to your doorstep – no matter what part of the country you live in.
Thursday Thoughts: Love What You Do Every Moment
What do you call it when you are in the middle of something glorious but at the same time wish it was complete so you could go on to something else equally wonderful? It doesn’t seem possible that we can experience the same emotions at the same time, does it?
Weaving in and out of a path that touched high river banks due to recent flooding, with a canopy of golden, orange leaves above, I breathed out a sigh of relief to be out on my bike again after spending the most splendid morning at an event I produced for women entrepreneurs in a warm, bustling coffee house in Rochester. Never wanting the event to end because the conversations, joy, and atmosphere were perfect, I knew the athletic part of my spirit, which hadn’t exercised in two days, wanted to be riding free and wild, up and down hills, with the cold wind on my face, and the wig off my bald head.
As I took each twist and turn on the bike path, glad I forgot my ear pods, I began thinking of the event I just hosted and the bike ride I was on because both had similarities. When I was at one of them, I dreamed about being at the other place and vice versa. Living in the moment can be good and bad depending on your patience level I suppose. Never wanting a moment to end, but dreaming about another equally joyful moment to occur doesn’t make sense, does it? I tried to think of a word to describe the feeling but can’t. Can you?
I love what I do for a career. I love the women I surround myself with. I love being a wild, bald bike girl. I love nature. They are equally part of my energetic spirit that just wants more and more special moments being with, and doing, the things I love. Does that mean I’m selfish or self-aware?
Perhaps too much coffee at our event, held at Union Place Coffee Roasters, and that photo above that shows the love, is what it really is all about. LOVING what you do every moment of your life, as often as you can find it, in as many different parts of your life, as you can. It is not so much about impatience to go onto the next thing, as it is having such a deep love for what you do in the moment that makes you want more of it all.
I hope today you discover what you love best about yourself, your career, your extra-curricular activities, and do them as often as you can, with as much joy as you can, looking forward to the next best thing to come your way. You aren’t selfish, you are extra special.
Friendly Competition Wins
Tuesday Thoughts for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Business Owners
A couple years ago a woman walked into an event and sat down alone at the table. Realizing she was new to our programs; I went over to introduce myself and make her feel welcomed. Although the event was in a comfortable room at a country club, as an event planner, I wanted venues to be reflective of my home thereby greeting guests like I would at home was my philosophy.
At the end of the event, the woman came up to me and thanked me for my hospitality and asked me to contact her about sharing my challenge of running a company after a medical diagnosis in a new book she was collaborating on with other women. Earlier this week, that book arrived with my story right next to hers because of the alphabetically spelling of our names and because being a gracious, warm hostess established an instant bond.
By nature, people are competitive beings, in sports, school, organizations, and economic pursuits. Growing up participating in all of these activities combined with a keen Scorpio personality, I excelled in competition until opening up my first business where some competitors embraced me and one in particular went after my clients. I was almost given a sizable contract, my competitor and I were vying for, until the prospective client told me the other company told them I spent too much time with my children and not on my business.
As I pushed my chair away from the interview table I said, “I would suggest you speak with my clients, not a competitor about my dedication to their work.” By the time I stomped my way back to my office five blocks away because I was furious at my competitor, I told myself I wouldn’t take the offer if I was given it because of the question and assumption on the part of the interviewer. Sure enough, he offered me the job, and I turned it down, because sometimes other things in business matter more than money.
So today as you contemplate vendors, customers, partners or advisors that sometimes doubt your work ethic or value, take time to consider if the business is worth your time and effort, especially if your gut instincts are shouting at you. When you turn down a potential bad project, you end up opening your time to a better one, and you’ll be happier, and most likely richer, in the end.
Monday Money Motivation: Save With Multiple Quotes
Monday Motivation, Business Success Strategies for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Businesses
She arrived dressed in crimson attire standing ten feet tall, at the entrance to our house. She was a beauty to behold. As I approached her majesty, I wondered her name. Quietly I heard the wind rustle between her delicate limbs quietly saying, “Skarlett Oak’Hara.” The reason she appeared in our yard one beautiful autumn day was simply due to mastering the art of obtaining multiple contracting quotes on a home renovation project that saved us $500.
Yes, Skarlett Oak’Hara is a gorgeous Skarlett Oak tree to adorn our property and yes, I love trees more than most people; but I also love saving money like most women entrepreneurs. The thrill of getting extra quotes which lead to similar quality services for less money so the spare dollars can be used someplace else, is exhilarating. If we don’t shop around once in awhile to ask for bids on major entrepreneurial expenditures, projects, contractors, or staple items, we’ll never know how much we are saving by choosing the right vendor.
When we were searching for the perfect oak tree to accompany our existing century-old maple trees, we also found distinct differences in the quality, service, and knowledge of the landscaping companies. You won’t be surprised to discover a young, educated college salesperson who worked for the last company we checked on for our tree, was a bright, helpful female who won my money from the start. Her exceptional knowledge of trees, big smile, and warm tone of voice made me want to buy more than one tree if it meant she got the commission. This was just another reason the new tree had to be named after a woman – as a gentle reminder that our money went in her hands.
So, what does this short story have to do with you today? As you know there are lessons in all fables if you search for them. On this Money Monday, I hope you are inspired to get multiple quotes when working on any small or large projects because that extra time on the phone asking questions could land you big savings. Secondly, remember your customer service attitude could seal the deal especially with unfamiliar customers with a pocket full of money to spend, landing the sale in your bank account. Also remember, if you aren’t the main salesperson for your business, your staff reflects the friendly, helpful, and expert advice you want portrayed.
Sometimes the simplest sales transactions lead to an instant customer-fan for life. I know for one thing the next time we need another tree to compliment Skarlett Oak’Hara, my new friend Sarah, the landscaping saleswoman from Chittenango, will get the money we saved by obtaining quotes on another project. Remember, don’t just say “Frankly Dear, I don’t give a damn” about saving money, make it happen.
Thursday Thoughts: Letting Go of Outcomes
Inspiration, Motivation, Success Strategies for Women Entrepreneurs, Females, Small Business Owners
At a literal fork in the road, I had to make a decision which thoroughfare I’d travel on another gorgeous warm, sunny Syracuse October morning. The weather has been atypical, most likely due to global warming, but putting my future grandchildren’s environment aside, I truly adore this autumn weather.
Today instead of thinking about the number of miles I would pedal, how many calories I’d burn, or choosing an even longer trek than the last one, I let outcomes fall to the side and chose biking the flatter trail right next to the glimmering lakeside with the full sun on my face. I wanted to see the water. I told myself I’d bike until I wasn’t “happy” anymore. There were no time limits. The hell with fitness outcomes.
As the rock and roll music playing in my ear pods took me rhythmically on my way, each pedal push, stride, downhill speed, and uphill tests of thigh muscle strength added to the experience. Smiling with bugs bumping into my legs once in a while, nodding to fellow bikers, and zigging my way around restored lakeside grasslands where flowers and weeds still blooming so I rejoiced in my decision. That’s when it hit me, the thought that I shouldn’t always care about the exercise outcomes of my ride but the pure enjoyment of it instead.
Have you too thought about caring less about outcomes – like giving up calorie counting for the day or not weighing yourself methodically? How about just eating what tastes good? For many women entrepreneurs, reviewing our daily, monthly and quarterly income figures is enough to make us self-critical about monetary and work outputs. Could we use a break from always knowing and checking, wishing, hoping, and criticizing? How about measuring our worth by how we feel about running our companies some of the time instead?
I think it is time for women to stop self-blaming and living their lives with limits, outcomes, restrictions, and expectations in every area of their lives. Take it from me as I shouted, “Wee” just happy with the sun on my bald head, clean wind in my face, fluttering butterflies whizzing past my eyes, and happiness oozing out of every pore because I choose the road, I wanted to take this morning – the sunny, water view one – not the most challenging or longest one to hit more fitness outcomes. Sometimes we really need to care less, and enjoy more.
Women TIES 