Monday Motivation for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Businesses
There I was young, under 40-years-old, trying to make inroads in a pretty male-dominated government relationship in order to secure future business. I accepted a volunteer role for one year in hopes my work would shine and garner me referrals for paid work in the future. The year’s work wasn’t too hard and the men I reported to were really pleased with the outreach, attendance, and event missions.
I don’t think they knew I studied and understood the psychology of relationships called the Principle of Reciprocity. This principle defines the human need and tendency to want to give something back when something is received. This need is strongest when the gift is given without expectation of return. The strongest and longest lasting interpersonal relationships are based on the Principle of Reciprocity.
So, one year later when I sat down with two of the male leaders requesting bidding options for future events after proving myself they said, “Sorry Tracy, we aren’t sure we can do that, we work with a lot of people in town and have to keep our business ties a certain way,” Understanding completely they meant, they gave their business to old male work buddies was the distinct impression they made and I witnessed the following year.
Almost fifteen years since that busted attempt to gain work as a competent female event planner, one of the two men reached out to me to ask me for information to support a new event venue opening in town. What a surprise, it was for one of their clients. Hmm, I thought to myself, do I have the heart to tell them they lost the ability to ask me for any business support fifteen years ago? I sat on the request a while.
What I’ve learned since working with mostly men with my first business compared to working with females ever since in my second business, is the pure fact, women support other women better than men support women in the business world. I’m certain I’m not the only female who couldn’t break through the proverbial glass ceiling of men helping men first in order to get ahead. Honestly that experience might have in fact fueled my flames brighter to start a woman-owned company, only focused on hiring and supporting other women-owned businesses and encouraging them to hire women first in every endeavor.
I suppose I should be thanking this past client for his decision fifteen years ago to open my world to a more trusting, reciprocal, environment of women in business because of his and his partner’s decision making, but always one to be PR-focused, I will call him back, decline to help him and his client and suggest he try calling one of the male event planners in town for assistance. It makes sense, doesn’t it?
Wednesday Wisdom: Service
Wednesday Wisdom for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Businesses
Inspiration comes at all times in differing forms if we pay enough attention to notice. Sometimes the universe feels our heart vibes and answers by putting something right in front of us. If we don’t notice right away, it positions it yet again in another shape so we see and feel it. If twice isn’t enough, sooner or later maybe over days, weeks, and years we remember what we seek and finally act.
My Twitter feed now has multiple updates from Jose Andres, because of his extraordinary mission with his World Central Kitchen team, feeding the refuges from Ukraine during this horrible war on their freedom and homeland. If there is anything I feel like retweeting these days, it is the phenomenal work of his team and organization’s mission and Ukraine isn’t the first place they’ve answered the call of the hungry and thirsty from war or natural disaster.
Recently looking for a new place to volunteer, I learned about Emmanus Ministry, a Southside of Syracuse organization, started by my current priest to provide food, drink, clothing, and more to people in need. It all started with making and serving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to the less fortunate and turned into reaching thousands in the periphery of Syracuse by performing acts of mercy.
Always with my hand in the food service industry during my teenage and college years, along with cooking homemade food every night for my family, the combined interest in doing what Jose Andres and his team are doing, coupled with my experience in food service (and no need of wearing a hair net), made me instantly volunteer. My first three-hour shift is next week.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is hopefully meant to inspire you to consider volunteering within your chosen profession or passion, and give of your time and talents to a needy organization where you can make a difference. The difference you make could be complying peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, creating a clothing drive for domestic violence victims, lending your expertise to a board of directors, or mentoring young children. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you find something that stirs your heart and makes a difference outside your corporate office and comfy home.
The world needs us and we really need to give. Give with what we know, what we have, and what we can. The smallest amount of action or donation makes a difference in lives – yours included. If hot, fresh soup served to a Ukraine family or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich can demonstrate love to strangers, who are we to hold back. Decide to give the way you can do best and warm others stomachs and hearts along the way.
Opening the Door to New Experiences
Tuesday Thoughts, Inspiration, Wisdom for Women Entrepreneurs, Women in Sports, Female Business Owners
When you walk in the door of any new experience you are really opening your world to unimaginable connections, feelings, and people. Just like opening a window to let fresh air into a stale room, opening oneself to new opportunities gently transports you into a unique part of the world you weren’t aware of before.
As a man dressed in an all-black outfit politely opened the door for me and bowed, I entered a woman-owned business with blue mats on the floor, swords sheathed in cases on the wall, unfamiliar language on banners, and a warm greeting from a woman I never met in person but only communicated with for years via email. She invited me to try Korean Martial Arts with her when she heard my new life goal of trying every single sport once in my lifetime. Often impressed meeting people with black belts, I never considered trying the sport myself until I received the invitation.
The door that opened for me was Kuk Sool Won located in Wolcott, New York and into the building owned by PKJN Denise Neacosia. Kuk Sool Won is a Korean martial art known for its comprehensive collection of combat techniques, in particular, it teaches an extensive set of offensive and defensive moves designed to take advantage of the human body’s many pressures points.
The one-hour, very aerobic and fascinating art, began with warm-up exercises which I performed and a variety of kicks with my partner. It wasn’t long before my heart rate was elevated from the exercise and excitement of learning something new. While the black belts were doing some routines, I was trying some white belt moves to see how black belts begin and eventually move up to higher belt status. Thanks to my fairly regular exercise routine, I kept up with my partner, Deb.
As the night progressed, I became an observant of intricate moves from students with sticks and swords. Totally impressed on how they memorize the choreography of each level, amazed me. I’m not sure I could perform at their levels even though I was assured it comes with diligence and practice. The class ended with me back in line with the others kneeling and thanking the founder of Kuk Sool Won, black belts in the group, and our instructor in traditional Korean language and form.
My one-hour drive home went by fast as the blood pumping through my limbs and body fueled more energy than I expected having. I thought to myself, “I believe I got to the pink belt status of Kuk Sool Won just by trying it.” Of course, there is no such thing as a pink belt, but for me supporting a woman owned business, partnering with a female member to learn the art, and loving the experience, made me a pink belt winner in my mind.
I hope today’s post inspires you to walk through the door of new experiences when others ask, whether it’s a networking opportunity, business exchange, or even participating in a sport you’ve never tried. What do you have to lose but the thrill of the experience which might just garner new energy, friends, and the pure exhilaration of trying.
Do You Have Marketing Eye Candy
Thursday Thoughts, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Businesses
“Oh my gosh, looking at those stunning blue shades the men are wearing and that gorgeous plum satin dress the woman is wearing,” I said to my husband after convincing him to watch Bridgerton Season 2 with me instead of watching sports. “Now don’t pay attention to what the actors are saying, just take in all the background visuals, because they are breathtaking.”
You would think I was a fashion or set designer from my comments, but I’m simply someone who loves, truly loves color. To me watching Bridgerton is pure eye candy, beautiful, beautiful eye candy that rivets me to each scene capturing every small detail instead of listening to the commentary. I have always known art when I see it but could never create it myself. My creativity comes out in writing instead of décor or fashion.
Perhaps because it is the last day in March and the view out my window is of dull green grass, brown corn fields, parched russet oak leaves, and dots of white snow banks, makes the full color scheme of Bridgerton so glorious. I liken it to the dark, unadorned altar in my church on Good Friday to it Springing to life with purple hyacinths, light pink tulips, yellow daffodils, and white lilies with pink interior on Easter Sunday.
When I was choosing the brand colors for my company Women TIES, I knew it had to have a deep rich pink color to represent women so I combined the colors of red, for my paternal grandmother, and pink, for my maternal grandmother, and combined them to get a fuchsia shade alongside a light pink ribbon and black background. Over the years, I’ve had many compliments on the brand logo and I have never wanted to change it.
Today’s Thursday Thought is not about the typical business subjects a woman entrepreneur thinks of on a daily basis, but I believe choosing the right color for your logo, office, and even your clothes can say as much about you and your company as the sets in Netflix’s Bridgerton. You can captivate others by drawing them into the artistic designs you make for your business. Don’t underestimate the value of the subtle marketing tool of creating a colorful disposition for your enterprise.
P.S. If you love watching strong, independent female roles, Bridgerton is for you too.
Wednesday Wisdom: Sharing Your Expertise
Wednesday Wisdom for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Businesses
As evident by the people around us, some are quiet keeping their thoughts to themselves, while others share every detail of their lives and day. You might notice these differing personality traits between siblings, partners, or employees in your personal and business life.
So what makes someone keep their thoughts to themselves versus sharing them? An online article said, there are two reasons for people to remain quiet. The first is they lack knowledge on the discussion topic so they focus on listening and learning something new. Secondly, they might not want to share their feelings and views with others.
On the other hand, people who share all the time might be looking to create false intimacy with others or realize strangers typically don’t judge and if they did, it wouldn’t matter. Sometimes people also share too much because they have poor boundaries or they are looking for sympathy.
Monday when I decided to write a blog post on my personal perspective on the Will Smith and Chris Rock Oscar slap regarding Jada Pinkett Smith’s alopecia look, I felt I could and should because I had been forthcoming with my condition, understood the disease well, and had an opinion that might help others learn more about the feelings surrounding alopecia. I didn’t do it to garner more attention for myself and yet I felt slightly uneasy with how much I was talking about myself.
But what I drew from the experience of sharing the topic extensively over 48 hours was the lesson that each woman has unique and specific areas of knowledge in their personal and business lives and that knowledge shared via blogs, social media, or media press releases helps inform others. Shocked to see my blog post receive over 600 views in 24 hours, when it typically gets 50 on a good day, said that sharing the information was the right thing to do, and not narcissistic, since it sparked so much interest, conversation, and education on the topic of a disease that effects 6.8 million people.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is meant to encourage you to push yourself to reach out and communicate more on subjects in your entrepreneurial expertise or personal life when you see headlines where you could contribute to the conversation. If you are one of those quiet people, move that boundary a bit and share more. If you have a knack of comfortably speaking up all the time, use your voice wisely and help make a difference.
There is no right or wrong to sharing vs. being quiet on any subject, but keep in mind your voice might make a big difference in vital conversations.
My Reaction to the Oscars Alopecia Moment
Monday Motivation, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Women with Alopecia, Females in Business
Laying my cold, bald head to sleep after watching only the beginning of the 2022 Oscars felt good. After a day of trying to keep my scalp warm from the early spring snow and cold chill in Syracuse and needing to wear a fluffy hat inside my house all day, it was time to let my pillow maintain my head’s heat through the night. What I didn’t know as I laid my head down, was the condition that causes my baldness would be making national news while I rested.
Just last Monday, I woke to news that a beautiful 11-year-old girl, took her life because she was bullied over her alopecia. Not confident yet at her tender age, to realize being different can be beautiful in its own way, led her to let other people’s view of her ruin her spirit to live. Most people who don’t deal with the loss of their hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, and self-confidence along with the diagnosis, couldn’t understand the deep pangs of the heart that also accompany it.
How many times have I appeared like Jada Pinkett Smith in front of an audience since being diagnosed with alopecia, hoping I looked good enough? Whether wearing a real-hair wig or hat to cover my “naked” head, I worried inside I didn’t look good enough to be in front of others. Deep down in my private soul only my very close family members understand how tentative I felt being out trying to appear “normal” with no one noticing. I can’t imagine having millions of eyes upon me as a celebrity trying to do the same thing, or a comment bringing attention to my condition.
What most people don’t understand about living a life of alopecia, especially as a female and one who has been in the public eye or continues to be, is how vulnerable we feel trying to “fake it until we make it” internally and accept our physical health condition mentally. There is no excuse for Will Smith hitting Chris Rock on stage at the Oscars, but I understand it only from a deeply personal level of a man, who has witnessed his wife’s private struggle to accept her new self-image, just like the men in my life have had to do with me.
I hope the lesson that resonates from this national attention is the sense that people must be more kind to people who appear different. Period. We never know the story underneath what we see with anyone. The only way to uplift people is by being generous with compliments, sweet words, and acts of support. For most of us dealing with alopecia, all we want is to go unnoticed, living the best life we can, with or without hair, and keep our bald heads warm.
To learn more about alopecia, or to donate money for a cure, visit the National Alopecia Foundation.
Announce that BIG Goal Out Loud
Thursday Thoughts, Wisdom, Inspiration, Motivation for Women in Business, Women in Sports
Whose voice is that on my computer this morning? Whose definition of feminist means to support women financially every chance we have because the world for women won’t change until women change the world for women. Have you ever announced a goal – like a really big goal – and had so much positive feedback you wondered why you didn’t announce it sooner?
Well, it is my voice on a popular podcast called Normal Lies with Linda Heeler and the name of the episode is “Undaunted by Lies.” I share my new large life goal loudly on it. Sometimes women don’t broadcast their big goals to others because then we are in deep commitment of it from that point forward. After raising $8,000 to run on a charity bib in the 2017 Boston Marathon, I knew there was no way I wouldn’t finish the race because not only did I announce it, but people gave money for me to run.
After finally deciding to announce my new big life goal of trying every sport once in my lifetime, I have received multiple invitations from women to join them in their favorite sports or to create an opportunity to do something on my list with other women because they think it is a cool concept too. To date, I’ve been invited to bike 20 miles in an annual Erie Canal bike race in June, try a Karate class with a woman I’ve never met in person but only online, to being asked to speak to physical education classes to inspire youngsters in the area, and to get curling and parasailing on the list of events this year.
“Mom, I want to go spear fishing with you,” my youngest son said. “I want to try archery and disc golf with you,” my oldest son announced. It is pure excitement to be a catalyst for others to try something new and empower them to try various sports and adventures in their lives. Who would have known when I broadcasted this goal, my whole world would open up to cool experiences with new and familiar people.
Today’s blog post is to motivate you to announce your secret goal out loud today and share it with others not only to be accountable to your dreams, but to empower others and take them along with you on the ride – or to inspire them to do something new themselves. What I know for certainty is that women are inspired by other women so let’s be bold in our plans, goals, and in sharing them with others.
Wednesday Wisdom: Catching Up on Lost Money
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration, Money Matters for Women Entrepreneurs and Female Business Owners
In the wake of Covid-19 and now the Ukraine War, prices everywhere are increasing. My son, who lives in the quaint West Village in Manhattan, was notified of a 26% raise in his monthly rent. It’s as if every business is trying to catch up to what money they lost the past two years.
You don’t have to sit in a favorite restaurant, buy gas, order business supplies, or grocery shop to see prices have skyrocketed. I’m pretty confident most women entrepreneurs haven’t raised their rates to keep up with rising costs unless forced to do so. Women TIES membership rates have not increased in seven years as we work with female owned companies who have less spendable income than before. So, what is the economy or people in it to do when pricing rises but revenue and salaries don’t? At some point the economic wheel halts working.
“I just got a bonus Mom and now it has to go to a landlord who hasn’t done anything for us to earn it,” my son said to me. Always looking at the silver lining, I said back, “At least you received a bonus so you can afford the rent increase if you want to stay there; some people would have to move.” Somehow it doesn’t feel fair when you work hard to earn extra money to have it taken away by other’s decisions. All I could tell him was to try to negotiate because maybe there was some wiggle room and if he didn’t ask, he wouldn’t know.
It is true women entrepreneurs and other businesses might have to increase pricing to regain revenue after Covid-19 but at what cost to losing repeat customers or having to sell more consistently to people in the general market?
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom poses this question as you move forward out of the pandemic most likely financially changed because of it. As you make economic forecasts and plans, is there a way to balance what you charge with long time clients vs. new ones? Could you, like the landlord could, give a 3-year renter a price break working with their income, and charge more on a new client to be fairer to someone whose been loyal? Take a look at your customer base and consider ways now to adjust pricing as needed not only for your welfare but for the sake of your current clients.
In the end if you must increase pricing to make ends meet and keep your business afloat, you should; but if you can work closer with individual customers based on their requests, you might find it pays off in a different way in the end for both of you.
Ask for More Money Women – You Deserve it!
Inspiration, Wednesday Wisdom and Pay Equality for women, women entrepreneurs, women in sports
8,080,000 is the number of pay equality quotes on a quick Google search. Think about that figure 8 million for a moment. It’s larger than the Power Ball jackpot, more than the cost of a Super Bowl advertisement which costs $5.2 million or equal to the 2016 Nobel Foundation prize in Swedish Krona.
As Women’s History Month draws to an end, I would be remiss to not remind you why Women TIES exists. Within our mission lie the very words “pay inequality” because powerfully put, “I want women to make more money to help eradicate pay inequality.” I can foster this by giving women entrepreneurs the benefits of my 17-year marketing platform to advertise their names, increase opportunities for branding and economic connections with other women, and inspire them to exchange money with other females until there is a pay equality law.
My core message to the 18 to 22 year old women is to encourage them to discover their own strong, powerful personal mission to develop their career, change the world and make a difference. It will also to influence them to ask for equal pay, raises and promotions – to be their own best pay advocate. In my opinion, life is too short to not be pursuing individual meaningful change. Every woman has a unique reason she was placed on this earth with a unique passion and duty to carry out and influence others.
Today I ask you to think about yours. Why are you here and what are you suppose to accomplish? Who is your demographic? How can you spread your personal passion? How many people do you hope to reach in a year, decade or lifetime – 8 million perhaps? Have you thought about how powerful YOU really are if you tune into your special reason for living and working? Also, are you getting paid the best rate? Are you asking for more? Are you sure you are paid equal to men in the same careers? If not, why?
This blog post is to truly influence you to think about 8 million reasons or maybe a little bit less on why you matter so much to this place in time and why you deserve to make the most money you can.
Monday Motivation: Entrepreneurs Work for Tips
Monday Motivation for Women Entrepreneurs, Small Business, Female Business Owners
The bustle of a local diner on a Sunday morning was apparent from all angles. Deciding to stand in a short line to be seated since it was our first time at the new diner located right next to our church, my husband and I thought it was worth it. As a waitress yelled, “Who is Thomas (the name we use since Higginbotham is impossible for people to figure out) and is your entire party here?” to which we replied, “Yes.” “Over there than, that booth near the window,” she barked.
The same waitress approached our table took our drink order and didn’t return for a bit as she snapped at other tables in her area. Eventually returning to take our food order without a thank you or change in her rough voice, she left. Only to return 25 minutes later with our food. We ate quickly, asked a bus boy for a container to go, and asked for the bill figuring our endearing waitress wouldn’t come back quick enough.
When she did, she grabbed our check which had the 15% tip (only) already on it, returned and never said thank you or have a good day. We assumed she felt the tip wasn’t enough or her lousy attitude was consistent. As we walked out the door, I said to my husband, “Doesn’t she realize she controls how much tip she gets by her attitude and service? It is the only non-fixed part of her wage where she has control.” Treating customers with a warm tone, more respect, and less attitude would have increased her tip by a couple bucks.
Every woman entrepreneur works for “tips” if you think about it. Tips might not be change or dollar bills left at the table, but rather repeat business, referrals, and buying other product or service items from the same company. Our attitude – rough vs pleasant, rushed vs. patient, or rude vs. polite – in all situations helps us earn new or repeat business from customers (aka tips). Nothing is given, everything is earned in business, especially in today’s economy when prices are increasing and customer service makes the buying decisions.
“I wouldn’t go back there again, would you?” I asked my husband. “No,” I wouldn’t” he said without a second to answer differently. The one person who could have changed our mind about that decision was the only person we came into contact with that day resentfully doing her job.
Today’s post is to motivate you to remember that your attitude, tone, service policies, and staff play more of a role than you think in earning repeat business or referrals. Think wisely today and every day if you want customers to come back for more or to earn larger tips.
Women TIES 
