There are No Ordinary Work Days – Challenge Yourself
Inspiration for women, women in sports, women entrepreneurs
Yesterday high atop the gently turning green tree leaves to gold and orange, eight brave women strapped into a harness, ascended up a steep hill and approached a wooden platform. Most of them were zip lining for the first time as a way to kick out fear and jump start a stronger business cycle. I decided to go first since I was leading the pack of women to prove it was safe. I asked each woman to think of something they wanted to risk moving forward in life or business as they jumped off the platform trusting the cable to zip them to the top of a tall tower. One by one, with other women supporting each jumper, they sailed through the air in delight and pride.
We didn’t know then zip lining would be the easy part of the day as we hopped into a wagon and driven to a higher part of the mountain where an elevated ropes course awaited us. It wasn’t the fact the ropes course was attached to the tallest trees on the mountain but the challenge of the rope course itself. There were six different rope setups with the three of the most challenging in the middle of the course.
Having been a downhill skier since I was five years old, I had no issue with the height of the course.What I didn’t expect was the difficulty of moving my body horizontally along a vertical rope wall trying to keep my body from falling back into the harness. One, two, three, four tries and I couldn’t do the hardest rope. I called to the ropes manager to come over and show me how to do it. He had only described the exercise. I learned yesterday I am a visual learner and needed to see him do it and “walk” me through it. Sure enough I did advancing across the very lengthy ropes with my sister entrepreneurs cheering me from other platforms.
The next challenge was walking on a thin cable moving across a cut out board for feet and arms that read, “I can do anything!” and I did trusting the harness to suspend me if I feel backwards. I finally advanced to the end of the course only to hug each of my brave customers who came with me on the day long adventure. The walk down the mountain was much quieter as the soreness of our arms and the strength reminded us what we just accomplished. Only the ropes manager said to me, “If you are a skier and you know what a black diamond slope is, well this course is a black diamond ropes course!” No wonder, I thought!
Waking up this morning I realized I gained wisdom from my thoughts and my sisters in adventure. We each agreed we are much stronger than we imagined. We are also more fearless than we thought. Most importantly, we were able to complete the difficult adventure after wanting to give up because other women believed in us. If our sisters weren’t telling us they believed we could do it, we wouldn’t have done it!
This is the same lessons I have learned 23 years supporting women in business. Women love supporting other women and nothing in this world or any challenge we face will ever change that.
Today’s Life Lesson: Women Fight For Other Women
Thursday Thoughts, Inspiration and Wisdom for Women
Once you begin writing, it is hard to stop. Topics, emotions and someone’s story can move people to write. I’m one of them and today is one of those days.
Most times when something serious happens to someone, they keep it to themselves trying to process it, deal with the emotions, live through the experience and eventually talk to someone about it. It could be a health diagnosis, an ending of a marriage, being fired or a sexual harassment incident. After someone has accepted what happened they are ready to share the situation with others. Somewhere in the story line of their pain they go from being the main character experiencing it to the storyteller – but only when they are ready. Some people are never ready.
I have witnessed this in multiple divorces in my family when we didn’t know there was trouble brewing. It happens when close friends don’t want to divulge a potential life threatening disease. It can be when your father calls you one day telling you he was fired and doesn’t have enough money to pay for groceries. It can also be like the story unraveling in Washington, DC today on a sexual assault case that happened in 1982. The point everyone needs to remember is the person facing the issue needs to be ready to share the story with others. It must be on their timeline. They are the ones that face the questions, scrutiny and trauma every time they reiterate what happened or is happening.
I stated in the past month, I had a sexual assault issue when I was young and a sexual harassment issue when I was in my early 20’s. I didn’t share these stories until last year when women from around the country were calling me to ride my two Women TIES buses to the Women’s March in Washington DC. Once I heard other women telling me their story, I disclosed mine. I remember being nervous sharing it in writing on my blog wondering what people would think. I assume the majority of people judging Christine Blasey Ford today in a negative light have never had to worry about sexual assault or sexual harassment in their life. I know they would not want to walk in our shoes – so stop judging.
I actually took strength from Blasey Ford today and decided to commend a trial drug for my alopecia that might be really hard on my health so I can help find a solution to help other women in the future facing the same disease. I have fought for women in business for two decades. I have fought for women’s rights the past two years. I will fight for women with alopecia as I go forward until the day a cure is found.
Sometimes women are fighters for other women. I commend the ones who are. I am one of them because I have five nieces and five younger sisters I never want them to face what I have – pure and simple. So I stand next to Christine Blasey Ford and any other survivor today and forever.
Sometimes Women Need to Commit to the Rain
Inspiration for women entrepreneurs, women, female athletes
I must admit, when I was younger I was a fair weathered gal. I liked sunny days so I could swim in the lake or enjoy a winter ski day schussing down the snow covered slopes. Sunshine had a way of boosting my spirits no matter what I was doing. Most people are conditioned to stay inside when it’s raining or if the sun isn’t shining brightly. I never paid attention to being someone who avoided rain until recently.
In 2017 when I was training for the Boston Marathon I had to run 9 miles one rainy day to stay on my training regimen. It was one of those cold, bitter rains when the temperature hovered around 35 degrees. I remember being the only one running at a popular lake trail because the conditions were pretty bad. With rain hitting me in the face, I was determined to get in my miles and not let the conditions or loneliness of the run stop me because I had a larger goal – a goal to be ready to run 26.2 miles in whatever conditions I faced that day. I was proud of my numb self when I finally finished slapping my hands together in the air saying “Good job!”
This summer at our sibling reunion it started to rain. Everyone moaned because we wanted a ‘perfect’ sunny day of love, family and memories. The rain was dampening our spirits. I was sitting next to my twenty nine year old nephew, when he said to me, “Aunt Tracy, if you commit to the rain and getting wet, it doesn’t matter, it changes your attitude.” You know what he was right! Our family kept on laughing, cooking, and talking about memories of our joint parents, who were gone, ignoring the weather conditions. All that mattered was that we were together. We committed to being in the rain to be together, just like runners commit to the rain to keep training.
As women entrepreneurs we face ‘rain’ as we run or sit within our business dreams. No one, and I mean no one, makes it through a constant sunny business cycle forever. There are days when the rain comes in the form of a bad financial cycle, the loss of customers or trusted partners, long time employees leaving and a tiredness of just living the grind every day. Rain comes.
My rain has been in the form of losing all my hair. A once dark brown, fully headed hair woman entrepreneur producing and speaking at forty events a year around the state, has stepped out of the spotlight to take care of her health and reverse the condition. It was working. Hair was growing. Now it is back out and I’m bald – honestly bald. So I’m back to the beginning and the rain is here again. So what am I going to do….well to be honest with you after I’m done sending this out to my followers, I’m going to run in the rain, pump up my endomorphins and create a new plan of action. For today, I’m committing to the rain in more ways than one.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom might inspire you to think of a time in your entrepreneurial life when the rain was coming down in buckets and you didn’t think it would ever stop. Did it eventually stop? Did conditions improve? Have you moved on to sunnier days? Is business better than ever or just different than before but still better? Let’s acknowledge today the rain is going to fall and we can’t stop it all the time so the best way to handle it is to ‘commit to the rain’ and run through it.
In fact, I’m committing to zip lining on Monday at our first Women TIES event since my medical sabbatical, with as many women entrepreneurs who want to join me in the sun or rain, to let go of stagnation and turn it into positive flowing energy. Are you with me?
How Imperative it is for Mothers to Share Inequality Issues with Their Sons
Tuesday’s are about Women’s Inequality or Women’s Rights Issues facing women in business and females in general
One night I was sitting on the couch watching the 2015 Oscars, with my husband and son, when Patricia Arquette won the Best Supporting Actress role in “Boyhood.” I remember the moment vividly because she ended her speech powerfully with these words, “To every woman who gave birth to every taxpayer and citizen of this nation, we have fought for everybody else’s equal rights. It’s our time to have wage equality once and for all and equal rights for women in the United States!” Immediately I jumped off the couch applauding and clapping in my living room just like Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lopez did at the same time in the audience saying, “That’s what I’m talking about!”
My 22 year old son looked at me and said, “Mom, women are equal in the world.” I looked at my handsome, college educated boy and said, “Thomas that is not true. She is talking about pay equality and women do not have it yet!” He started disagreeing with me more when I said, “Until you get married and your wife is earning less than you do for the same job you do, you won’t feel the impact of wage discrimination. Plus, you are cheap so you’ll really notice it then!” He didn’t reply. I stated my case too well and he isn’t living with a wife making less money than he is that overall decreases their family income. I know he will grasp it one day when he marries and the issue because “his issue!”
I have always supported women running for political office because I believe until there are more women helping to make and pass laws that affect females, we won’t have equality because men don’t live a women’s life. Even after being married for 29 years, my husband wonders why I’m so glued to the television and social media when there is a vote on something that affects women. He called me “too political” once to which I responded, “I’m an activist for women’s issues!” I love him. He’s smart; but he isn’t a woman and he hasn’t lived a woman’s life.
He may have supported me sharing sexual harassment situations at my first job but I’m not sure to what. He couldn’t feel what I felt when a creepy 60 year old male client of my prestigious boss kept inviting me overseas with him, brought me gifts, put his hands around my shoulders and called me “sweet hips.” My husband might have been mad the man was sexually harassing me but he never felt it the way I did. He wasn’t walking in my heels.
I have done some great things in my life supporting, fighting and advocating for women entrepreneurs but the best thing I did was to be honest and forthcoming sharing my life experiences with my sons so they could be different kinds of men entering the workplace. It worked because my son, who once questioned inequality facing women, works as an Orthopedic Surgical Physician’s Assistant under a female surgeon in a women’s sports medicine office with all women. I’m not sure he would have accepted this position if it wasn’t for his feminist upbringing.
NOTE: I reminded my sons today is National Voters Registration Day and to Register to Vote so they can have their voices also heard.
What Triumph Means to Women in Sports – Thanks Tiger for the Inspiration
Inspiration and wisdom for women in sports, women, female athletes, women entrepreneurs
Monday’s are the day I write about women in sports or discuss ways sports can inspire and influence women’s lives. The playing fields are not just for men even though they have dominated sports for decades leading up to women having more equality in playing time and opportunity since 1972 when Title IX was signed into law.
Today I had to write about yesterday’s experience because I woke up still envisioning the massive crowd of spectators following Tiger Woods to the 18th hole to witness his ultimate golf comeback after six years of hardship due to his own poor personal choices and back surgery in a sport where mindset and physical prowess go hand in hand. As a pro-female focused woman, you might assume I could care less about Tiger’s comeback; well I think his victory would have been less poignant to me if I wasn’t battling personal struggles of becoming bald this past summer due to alopecia. Training for a triathlon was the main reason I got out of bed each morning to either swim, bike or run allowing endomorphins to ignite my spirit. Sports are where I turned to see if time away from work would rebalance my heath allowing my hair to grow again.
Just like Tiger’s story, it hasn’t been forward progress all the time with this disease; it’s been moments of optimism and then defeat when hair that grew in fell back out again. I also had to accept the health condition I was given and live with it best I could. Honestly, I couldn’t have done it without waking up each morning to start my day off with sports and a goal to compete in my first triathlon alongside my sister. The goal was taken away when Hurricane Florence ruffed up the waters and threw her anger into the wind canceling the event too close to the storm. Although I was ready to swim a ½ mile in the wild ocean like the fighter I am, the event producers and state officials weren’t.
I’m still waiting for my hair to grow as I transition back to work with the prospect of facing the world o’natural with my signature pink hats covering my bald head or moving into wigs. As Tiger removed his hat yesterday to rub sweat away from his balding head (he has way more hair than I do) and a full crowd behind him cheering on his victory, it gave me hope imagining I’ll be back on top of my entrepreneurial game one day hopefully with a full head of dark brown hair flowing in the wind. Like him, I hope victory will be mine as well.
The Compassionate Connection Between Women
Inspiration for women entrepreneurs and females
(My good friend Jill Bates showed up to hug me at the 23 mile of my Boston Marathon race).
My Thursday blog posts are dedicated to women supporting women in life. The topics of the blog posts will be unique as I journey through everyday life touched by women I know well, women I meet by fate or inspirational female stories I witness or read about. I believe our world will be more beautiful sharing stories of women supporting women in business, sports, equality and life. Today’s post is about life.
Yesterday, I entered a sterile laboratory to have blood drawn for my nine month struggle with Alopecia Areata which has stripped my once gorgeous thick hair off my head along with my eyebrows and eyelashes, the phlebotomist took me back to the room preparing to draw my blood when she said, “You have a beautiful face.” I responded with a “thank you” and then taking off my pink hat said, “but I lost all my hair,” and she said, “It doesn’t matter you are beautiful.” She then excused herself and walked out the room only to return with teary eyes to tell me she had lost her mother to cancer recently. I realized in that moment she thought I had cancer but I didn’t want to make her feel bad for assuming I had it and making her cry so I was silent. Before I walked out the door she told me she needed to hug me so I let her and thanked her for her kindness, love and concern. I wished her comfort in the loss of her mother. We were two women consoling each other in an unexpected moment and place in time.
It’s been difficult looking in the mirror every day losing my hair to find love and acceptance of a ‘new’ self. I took a five month medical sabbatical away from my beloved work of promoting women entrepreneurs to rest, restore and regenerate hair and health. But waiting for hair to grow is like waiting for grass, on a short lawn without any rain, to grow but much slower. My biggest concern has been if my husband and two sons would still “see me” through my new baldness and love me the same. I also wondered if the women who have are members of my company would do the same.
I am not the first person to talk about beauty standards in America and our obsession with celebrity, models and even English duchesses. Growing up in the United States, there is an expectation for women to be smart, thin, well dressed and beautiful. My grandmothers, aunts and two mothers, wore makeup into old age, dressed well, smelled even better and looked attractive every day of their lives. I naturally followed suit especially with a 23 year career of being a speaker and promoter of women entrepreneurs and event planner/manager.
Yesterday’s hug from this empathetic woman reminded me women see each other through their hearts not their eyes and we aren’t afraid to express it. I believe it’s the reason women will change the world one day from so much bitterness, anger and unrest because we have a natural way of caring for others. I hope next time you have a chance to share a compassionate word, deed or hug from another women, you do it and shed a strong pink glow of love out into the atmosphere.
Wednesday Wisdom: Women Evolve Every Day
Inspiration, Wednesday Wisdom and Motivation for Women Entrepreneurs and Women
The past fourteen years of writing this inspirational weekly wisdom for women entrepreneurs has been my own unique perspective on the world of women in business. After twenty three years as a woman entrepreneur, I understand the essence of branding and know most women think of me when it comes to women entrepreneurs. I have been boldly focused on women for almost a quarter century and especially on women entrepreneurs for fourteen years with Women TIES, five years on women in sports with our Women’s Athletic Network, and since the 2017 Women’s March to DC with our Equality Division.
I love opening my morning email to find questions about where to find business support at the state level for women expanding their companies or women looking for a business connection in another part of the state. This summer I enjoyed poolside chats where women entrepreneurs shared their business hopes, dreams and goals and asked my advice. If there is one thing I know for sure now, more than ever before, is women are the center and focus of my life’s mission and business.
Yesterday a past member, who has moved to another state, responded negatively to my Tuesday blog post about women’s equality. She said, “I always loved your group and have been a member for a long time until you became radically political – politics does not belong in business.” I answered her with this simple message, “I am pro woman period. I take that perspective and write and produce events in any subject including women in business, sports and equality.” I understand her insight since I tried to focus only on my “women entrepreneurship” brand for years. But on the way from being 30 to 53 years old and talking to thousands of women I’ve encountered facing other inequalities in life; I evolved to support all things women.
If you have been following me a long time you might feel the same way. I honor your decision to stop following me if you are only interested in posts about women entrepreneurs; but if you are interested in other women’s issues in sports and equality, then stick with me. I can’t go backwards only forward. There is too much work to advance, rise up and secure equality for women. I don’t consider this ‘radical politics’ rather ‘bold love, support and activism for women.’
So today’s Wednesday Wisdom are words from Louise L. Hay to inspire you to evolve in any area of your life or business. We don’t remain the same women with the same exact mission. We learn and grow. In ‘evolve’, is the word ‘love’ so don’t forget to love yourself for evolving. I believe we expand positively towards a better, more complete self so embrace that truth and remain positive.
“Moving Forward”
In the Infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole and complete.
I am always divinely protected and guided.
It is safe to look within me. It is safe for me to look at the past.
It is safe for me to enlarge my viewpoint on life.
I am far more than my personality – past, present or future.
I now choose to rise up, above, my personality problems to recognize the magnificence of my being.
I am totally willing to learn to love myself.
All is well in my world.
The Truth Connecting Me to Christine Blasey Ford and Anita Hill
Inspiration for women, women entrepreneurs, working women, female employees
In 1991, I wasn’t a woman business owner yet but working in higher education at Le Moyne College as the Assistant Alumni Director annually planning 30 events around the country for alumni, parents and friends. I was a new mother trying to juggle work, travel and parenthood. I was creating many new memories that year as a first time working mother interested in climbing the “corporate ladder” when I saw Anita Hill testify before Congress about being sexually harassed by Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas. I distinctly remember the interrogation coming from Joe Biden and Orin Hatch and always held resentment about them after that hearing. I was not yet a proclaimed feminist at the time but as I look back now, it might have been the beginning.
Perhaps I didn’t have to be a feminist in 1991 to relate to her story because I had come from my first corporate job at a Philadelphia investment banking firm that allowed sexual harassment. My male boss’ most important client was a sixty year old male who constantly called me, “Sweet Hips” and invited me to Spain with him. Although married, he didn’t care about asking. One day I said to him, “Why don’t you ask your wife to go with you?” My boss overheard my reply and called me into his office and said, “Tracy, you will respect my client. He is my largest client and brings in the most money.” I responded, “I will respect him but I am not going anyplace with him or doing anything I don’t want with him!” It was 1986 and the height of the company’s golden money-making years. I was a 21 year old female professional who was supposed to follow the rules in the patriarchal environment. I only lasted in that position six months until I couldn’t take the onslaught of the arms around my shoulders, gifts and sexist names.
So this week’s headlines about Professor Christine Blasey Ford revealing her name and story alleging Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh sexually attacked her 35 years ago resonates with me. Although I was not sexually attacked, I was sexually harassed. The difference between me, Christine, and Anita Hill is I never shared my story until the #MeToo movement pulled up the memories giving me the platform and approval to share it with others. Although my client base for the past 14 years has been all women and I thought they would understand, I was still apprehensive about sharing my story. I can’t imagine having to share it in the height of our media frenzy and social media world. Like these two women, I shared it to help other women and not for attention on me or my story.
We must believe women. Women must believe other women when they come forward about sexual harassment or sexual abuse of any kind. If women don’t believe women’s stories, then who really will? I hope female senators believe and stand up for Blasey Ford’s story and trust in another woman’s encounter over that of a man until we have enough men believing in women’s stories. We know what happens. We had it happen to us in some way, shape or form.
We must support any sister in the #Metoo movement. It is essential to put an end to sexual harassment, abuse and harm to women‘s mind, spirit and body because today’s generation of women and the future generation of women deserve it. I was proud to stand with #MeToo Founder Tarana Burke and other sexual abuse and harassment women on January 2, 2018 at New York State Governor Cuomo’s State of the State Address. There I found strong women determined to give voice to women willing to share their stories.
Sports Bring Women Freedom
Inspiration for women in sports, women who follow sports and women interested in supporting women in sports
I first heard how good Breanna Stewart was from my mother-in-law who worked for the Athletic Director at Cicero North Syracuse High School where Breanna played high school basketball. As usual the local newspaper did not cover the story of this rising female athlete, like they did not do very often with women in general on the sporting page; that was until she was scouted by colleges with big athletic programs like UConn where Breanna eventually played. Since I loved playing basketball with my father, male cousins and sons, I loved hearing about a talented young female in our local area excelling at the sport. I wish I saw her play but never did which I regret.
During Breanna’s stellar collegiate career, I began a Women’s Athletic Network, for women entrepreneurs who were also sports fans or participants, so we could gather together and talk sports, watch or play them. It was the first time I talk publicly about loving sports and finding other cool businesswomen who did too. Sports were not a regular conversation topic for women I knew until I announced the network. I was thrilled to find friends and a new freedom to talk about what I loved and another equality issue I felt passionate about – promoting female athletes and athletic organizations like the Women’s Sports Foundation.
It was no surprise to me that Breanna won four college championships earning MVP honors every year and then becoming the 1st overall draft pick in the WNBA, 2016 WNBA Rookie of the Year and 2018 WNBA MVP. She is simply a stellar star who is humble and deserving of such honors.
In October 2017, in the height of the #MeToo movement, Breanna shared her personal story of sexual abuse by a family friend during her childhood. Like so many of us #MeToo women, the need to share our story becomes a release. Some of us also find peace and freedom in playing sports where we can expend internal strife on the court, road or playing field lifting ourselves above the memories and empowering ourselves in a healthy way. Recently with my horrendous bout of alopecia leaving me a bald woman at the age of 53 for the first time in my life, sports has carried me through each and every day.
When I look in the mirror, I see an unhealthy bald woman with a non-life threatening disease called alopecia areata; but when I’m running, biking or swimming or training for a triathlon, I’m healthy and full of positive energy. I have started running without hat now. I don’t do it to get smiles or stares but to be me and to stride by stride empower myself. Nothing, and I mean nothing, ignites my positive spirit like sports. I couldn’t live without it.
Seattle Storm’s Breanna Stewart addresses media members after receiving the league’s Most Valuable Player award before a semifinal basketball playoff game against the Phoenix Mercury Sunday, Aug. 26, 2018, in Seattle. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)
Life Presents Us with the Right to Vote
Inspiration for women, women entrepreneurs, females in sports
It is the middle of the most beautiful cloudless September day in Upstate New York so it was difficult to pull myself away from poolside where I was writing upcoming business presentations on women in business and sports to go vote in the primary election. As I drove with a brilliant blue sky above me, I contrasted it in wearing a pink hat, pink sunglasses and pink company shirts that says, “Women Supporting Women in Business, Sports, Equality and Life.” Today the shirt is reflective of my decision to vote for as many women as I can on the ballot for purposes of equality in elected positions and as part of my American life.
The polls opened at noon. I arrived at 1 p.m. The parking lot was mostly empty except for a “VOTE HERE” sign in the lawn. I entered the quiet building to find 3 women sitting together waiting for action. I greeted them with my typical upbeat female spirit telling them I was there to make sure I voted for women on the ballot and explaining why. I think I entertained them for a moment breaking up their quiet moment. I took my ballot went to the table and circled my choices. When I entered my ballot, I noticed I was the 16th ballot being entered. 16! Yikes! I know the polls had only been open for a short period of time but it shocked me. I said goodbye to the women and told them it was wonderful they were volunteering their time; then I went outside and immediately made a video message to inspire other women who follow me to get out and vote.
I know primary elections can have fewer voters. I also know sometimes candidates win elected office by one or two votes. I mostly know people I speak with are not happy with the way America is being led so if we aren’t going to run for office ourselves, we owe it to the women who are to get out there and vote for them! It is essential we exercise our right to vote in this beautiful free country of ours and for women willing to dedicate their lives to representing us.
As the blue sky fades to a beautiful pink one this evening as the sun sets, I hope the women who voted are proud they did. Its one distinct way we have a say in our democracy.
Women TIES 