A Personal Perspective on Redirecting Hope
Thursday Thoughts, Inspiration for Women, Female Entrepreneurs, People with Alopecia
The denial packets are getting thicker. The reasoning for the rejections is still the same. Time and again the theory of needing something paid for due to “cosmetic reasons” is in every appeal response from Excellus Blue Shield. I’m not sure how to prove I don’t want to grow my hair back for cosmetic purposes.
In the height of losing 70% of my hair in 2007, I turned to a therapist to ensure any mental issues such as anxiety wasn’t causing a larger swath of hair to fall out of my head. Knowing there were many factors associated with why 6 million people get some degree of alopecia, made me question the “stress” angle, but I was running my company alone, producing 40 events around New York State without staff, and writing for our local newspaper, while raising two sons. Stress might have been a factor although I always love every second of my life and career, and alopecia runs in my family but neither my brother or father lost all their hair.
“Tracy, where did your vanity come from,” my therapist asked one day. Hmmm, vanity? I bet if I asked every woman, I’ve ever met they would each answer what I said, “I’m not vain, I just want to look the best I can which includes having hair, eyelashes and eyebrows.” Duh…and the question came from a female therapist.
I know she was only trying to push my ego and trying to get me to see a person’s physical looks don’t really count in the scheme of life, it is what we possess inside those matters; but I wasn’t buying it. I’m not sure 15 years later I buy Excellus Blue Cross Blue Shield either thus my dilemma in explaining it to people who don’t know me or what I’ve lost career wise as a public speaker in shedding my beautiful hair, long eyelashes and perfectly shaped (never tweezed once) eyebrows now that I’m totally bald with the disease.
How do you get a corporation to see you just want to feel like an average female without double looks, questions about having cancer or chemotherapy, ignoring kids exclaiming they saw a bald man in the woman’s bathroom, and waking up each morning to a foreign identity? Simply, you can’t explain what looking good means, you have to feel it. How will an insurance company ever feel my need? Perhaps only if every person who worked for them got alopecia and had to face their own vanity issues in the morning sunlight?
I bike every day to escape feeling abnormal, to empower myself beyond my looks into trying to transform the physical strength and tone of my body to address my vanity issues. If the people denying the new medicine that brings back hair to a person, could walk in my shoes having sweat drip down their heads in the summer, freeze in their own house in the winter needing to wear a warm ski cap all the time, catch more illnesses from not having nose hair or eyelashes to protect them, maybe they would approve this medicine that is working for alopecia-stricken people like me.
Never wanting to be negative in anything I write, I simply ask you to be aware that sometimes you might not have the power to change your life the way you want because of someone else’s decisions or your own power. Redirecting hope is all you can do at times. My wish for you is if you need to do this in a current situation, you do it successfully.
P.S. When I was Google searching “beauty” images, not one bald woman appeared! Could this be my basis for rejecting the insurance denial and pushing farther to get the medicine approved?
P.S.S. FYI, according to Olumiant.com: https://www.olumiant.com/alopecia-areata/efficacy-results – Significant hair regrowth could be within your grasp at 36 weeks – In clinical studies, some adults with severe alopecia areata taking Olumiant achieved 80% scalp hair coverage at 36 weeks. During clinical studies, some adults with severe alopecia areata saw scalp hair coverage of 80% or greater. For those taking Olumiant 4 mg once daily, some even saw 90% or greater scalp hair coverage at 36 weeks.
Wednesday Wisdom: Creative Contests
Wednesday Wisdom, Hump Day, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Businesses
Contests are a bit thrilling to enter, wouldn’t you agree? The idea that a business offers a cool prize for something simple from you gets the mind dreaming. I’m sure there are professional contest entrants who only spend time entering and winning a chance for something of monetary value or an experience to brighten up their lives.
I’ve entered contests before and won like this past February’s trip to the NHL Allstar Game in Las Vegas through a company called Global Citizen which was a random draw winning. Back in Junior High School, I won a poetry contest and had my poem entered into a national book. There wasn’t any prize money, just a boost to my teenage ego. In 2012, I answered a simple Twitter question to win free tickets to see the Dave Matthews Band in New Jersey from a New York City radio station. I had to tell them my favorite song. Go figure, right?
So, when I saw that yesterday #NationalAuntieAnnesDay was trending on Twitter, I discovered @AuntieAnnes was partnering with @CashApp to give away $30,000 from 9 a.m. – 9 p.m. to people who tweeted their names and how they would use the money. That’s a lot of “dough” to give away in a day so I thought, why not try my luck.
Of course, there was catch, you needed to open up a CashApp account so the winnings could be deposited as soon as you won. But hey, for those in need of money, setting up an account wouldn’t be a big deal. It was for me because I didn’t really want to open up an account, but I loved the ingenuity of two major companies working together to cross promote each other, gain new clients, and give away free money.
So, today’s Wednesday Wisdom isn’t meant to have you run out and buy a warm pretzel oozing with salt and butter, but rather for you to contemplate creative ways you could partner with other companies, you trust and align with, to foster a great contest via social media to not only give something away, but to increase your marketing exposure and email list for the busy fall and winter seasons.
Wouldn’t you like to see your company name trending on Twitter one day for doing something both imaginative in your marketing and good for your community? If you need help in dreaming, go out and visit an Auntie Anne’s store today and tell her a woman entrepreneur sent you.
Monday Motivation, Monday Vibes for Women Entrepreneurs, Small Business, Female Business Owners
As the temperatures rose to the mid-90s last week in Syracuse everyone tried to stay cool in air conditioning and pools and partaking in iced tea and ice cream. There wasn’t much you could do but swelter in the warmth. The heat wave actually made me take the temperature in my business. I was interested in observing whether my business was as hot as the weather outside or as cool as the Freon in the air conditioner.
As entrepreneurs we ride the wave of hot and cold in our ventures. Sometimes our business is on fire – the phone doesn’t stop ringing, the opportunities pile up, our companies are talked about in the community and we’re making good amounts of money. The next moment the atmosphere is chilly – we lose contracts and clients, the phone stops ringing and revenue dries up like our back yard this July.
This week is the perfect time to ponder whether your business has been heating up or cooling down. If it’s heating up, do you know why? Are you prepared to keep doing what you have been doing right to keep the success flowing? Do you have the structure and staff in place to keep up with the pace? Are you celebrating your success and sharing the news with the media?
If it’s cooling down, do you know why? Should you analyze what’s not working and create a plan with improvements? Should you be conducting more sales or publicity to get things heating up again? What needs your attention the most right now to improve your current condition and future?
Today’s blog post is meant to have you stop and take the temperature in your company. What is warming it up and what is cooling it down. Is it your mindset, your structure or the economic climate? What should you do more of or what should you do less of to adjust the temperature to feel more comfortable within your business.
Remember, you can’t control Mother Nature’s thermostat but you can control your entrepreneurial thermostat. If you do it right, you can moderate the atmosphere making it extremely enjoyable and comfortable.
For the Love of Sports: Kayaking Inspiration
Thursday Vibes, Thursday Morning for Women Entrepreneurs and Women Who Love Sports
Glass is an unnoticeable entity unless you are missing it from a window. I dare say the sense of glass is most noticeable on early summer lake mornings when the tiniest ripples are ever so slightly seen.
Growing up on Lake Delta, I witnessed within a year, summer, day and even hour how the changing of the wind speed and direction occurs multiple times during the day as I sat on my dock watching it; so early morning lake time was always best for water activities.
The beauty of kayaking with a light weight plastic solo boat is particularly breathtaking on harmonious mornings when the wind is dead, except for a bare moment of time when God knows you need a splash of it to refresh, and then there it is. Gliding along on water’s top edge as yellow-bellied carp jump up to catch flies for breakfast, black birds dip and dive to catch the same flies, and white cottonwood fluffs drift down gently to settle on the water without sinking, is a reason to take up kayaking.
Other times, like with my friend Stacey Murphy, you can kayak on a wild, windy day where the waves are more like ocean-size ones pushing you back rather than forward, giving hearts and arms an excellent workout and spirits an adventure. Never fearful of falling in, you just “ride with it” until you pass the high watery peaks or decide to relent and head into the river, that feeds the lake, onto calmer surfaces. But what fun is that really when unexpected turbulence leads to belly laughter and water-soaked clothes?
What I love most about kayaking, or any boating for that matter, is the freedom I feel on the surface of water, as if my body which is made up of more water than substance resides peacefully there. Whether it was sailing by myself in high school or now kayaking alone or with others, there is a tranquility to the experience every time.
This morning I kayaked much farther than I first imagined as the beauty of the glide and peacefulness of being alone doing something athletic propelled me further. Only when my arms and shoulders got tired after an hour did I turn around to go back regretting the decision as soon as I made it. Where else would I find harmony like this in my day?
I knew the answer as I lifted my kayak onto solid ground and carried its heavy weight back to my car. There wouldn’t be the exact feeling unless I wrote about the experience to inspire others to try this peaceful sport along nature’s finest waterways where they can find harmony themselves.
Wednesday Wisdom: Summer Business Mornings
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration, Motivation for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners, Small Businesses
As the dark coffee grinds settle to the bottom of my French Press awaiting hot water to transform them into a fresh, tasty sip of goodness, the humid breeze rushes through my kitchen window carrying the scent of basil and tomato plants outside of it. A purple butterfly flitters by as I looked through the pane as I gently push the top of the press down into the glass container mixing with the grinds. “Ooh, summer business mornings are really good,” I say to myself.
Looking for inspiration for today’s “wisdom,” I check the weather forecast, see no chance of rain (even though it wouldn’t matter to my athletic spirit if there was some), drink my coffee and throw my bike in my car. Adorned in pink so I can TikTok a message to my friends with cancer, I drove to my favorite lakeside bike trail and make my video, upload it, and bike for 45 glorious minutes taking in the smell of the water, missing the geese strolling slowly in my path, and nodding periodically to another biker with my bald head and Ray Bans. “Aah, summer business mornings are really good,” I once again say to myself.
Around 10 a.m. when my morning mental and health check are done, I turn on my computer and type away this message for you today. Why write a Wednesday Wisdom on a Wednesday if you feel inspired to write it on a Tuesday? Answering business email requests and phone calls fell into line after the writing, and there was still time in the day to contemplate writing some more since checking social media showed numerous members off enjoying vacations.
So this particular Wednesday Wisdom, born on a beautiful summer morning, is to remind you that entrepreneurship is different in the summer so if you’ve delayed your own daily health or mental routine to soak in the goodness of the season, reset your soul, stimulate your mind, or purely enjoy friends or family at poolside visits that can only occur this time of year, realize you are missing out. Guilt doesn’t work well when the sun is shining. Staring at the phone to ring for a new contract doesn’t happen if clients are on vacation. Wishing for a rainy day so you can do more work, is wishing away this exceptional time of year. Don’t do it. Change your thinking.
Not long until you see winter jackets hanging in the stores, school buses practicing runs, green lawns turning yellow as they age, and the calendar flipping to Labor Day weekend. Don’t blow the best, and sometimes, most fruitful time of year to fill yourself up with all that is essential – coffee, poolside sips, writing, biking, swimming, eating with friends – because summer business is such a short lived gift. Enjoy it.
Tuesday Thoughts: Keep Moving Forward
Tuesday Thoughts, Inspiration, Motivation for Women, Female Entrepreneurs, Sister Business Owners
As I watched a television series come to an end, a major character, who was dark and cruel, admits that one crucial decision he made twenty years prior set him on a life of bad choices. One critical moment created the trajectory of the rest of his actions and decisions. With heavy regret, he realized if he was more mindful about that choice and let it ‘go’ years ago he would have had a better life. He wished he had been “forward thinking” instead of stuck in the past.
After reading a short story on survival, a woman who had tragic and unexpected circumstances occur in her life talks about her will and determination to go on. She said, “Every morning I woke up (literally and figuratively), put my feet on the floor, took a deep breath, fixed breakfast and did everything I always did. I used my routine to keep me moving. I continued moving forward.”
As women entrepreneurs we have experienced tough entrepreneurial moments when we’ve lost a client, made a poor decision, experienced a regretful moment, or lost faith in ourselves. The question is, “Have we let that moment, that event, that decision, affect us and our business negatively or positively?” Like the first character, have we remained stuck in a bad decision from years ago that still influence or harm us? Or like the second character, have we moved forward from a bad situation knowing the only way to move on is to go forward?
Today remind yourself that what matters most is the fact we cannot go back and change our past – past decisions, poor choices, or wrong turns. We must continually think and move forward realizing we are always given opportunities to advance ourselves. It is up to us to set the goals, devise the strategy and most importantly control the way we think so we can move forward freely and at peace.
Monday Motivation: Enduring Friendships
Monday Motivation, Monday Morning, Inspiration, Motivation
Orange and black balloons decorated a special wall at the venue. Pictured between them was an enlarged yearbook photo of a football team from 1981. Former members of the team were swirling around in the room mixing with non-football players, cheerleaders and former fans of the team. Pride in our high school’s athletics program was just one staple of our class of 1982’s gathering.
Although everyone in the room graduated from one combined high school, one of two junior high schools, and numerous elementary schools all over our city, which swelled with Griffis Air Force Base families at times in addition to homegrown generations, we were one. So what makes our alma mater, formed in 1860 and one of the first public schools in upstate New York, with an impressive 600+ graduates, return decade after decade to be together for 40 years when social media wasn’t close to part of our atmosphere?
I’m not sure any of the 200+ people gathered for our ruby anniversary knows the answer, but I would guess it was our unique sense of class spirit and caring for one another. Along with Dianne Hepworth Coriale, the pillar of event planning, who has been steadfast in gathering us through the decades for one reason. I also believe because we had many intertwined subgroups of people who bonded although they might be very different, made us a tight class. Thankfully back then there weren’t divisions on how we felt about one another like there is in today’s society.
Attending elementary school and then junior high school with different students and then funneling us into one high school worked to mix up our pot of personalities and interests. Jocks (and jockettes) from all sporting groups mixed in well with each other. The lake residents invited city friends to parties and frivolities in the summer. It just worked which was evident at every decade reunion we continue to have.
Who knows for sure what exactly brings classmates from California, Florida, Texas, Utah, and more back to the historic city of Rome, New York every reunion, but I suspect it is an intangible love and memory growing up in a small lake and base town or the period of time we were there when no cell phones, riding bikes to get around, cheering on stellar football teams, and living life to the fullest was the WAY of life.
I, for one, am so grateful to have grown up a product of RFA with so many friends who keep returning to share the memories and good times, along with salutes to class members who have passed, and to evermore cheer on, not only the RFA Football team of 1981, but our enduring black and orange friendships. Until next time classmates…
Wednesday Wisdom: Ode to the Golden Girls of Business
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners
As the camera screen transformed from black and white to color, the friendly faces of “The Golden Girls” appeared. I’m not talking about Dorothy, Rose, Sophia and Blanche from the 1980s show about previously married women living together in Miami sharing their experiences, but rather Marion, Sadieann, Jody, and Jackie, members in Women TIES, aged 70-80 discussing their busy lives within the entrepreneurship world with each other in 2022.
My regulars on our Women TIES Monthly Member-Only call show up consistently every month truly looking forward to one hour of time to connect with other women in our group and share their business news. Many times, just like at live events, personal news spills over into the conversation and instant inspiration, support, kindness, and advice take over the conversation. No matter what type of event I ever planned for women in business, women share personal and business issues together. It is a woman’s nature and something good that separates us from the other sex. We care more for each other, than the bottom line most times.
What amazes me about these women are how tenacious and excited they still are at their ages to run companies, sell products and services they love, and interact with clients. They are not only wise in their ways, but energetic and eager to keep learning, succeeding, and not stop. How is that for great role models?
30 years old was my age when I opened my first business. After 27 years in the industry, I still work by myself, interact with other women of all ages, and take in as much wisdom as I can – especially from women older than me. I want to look, act, and be them when I grow up! Such positive optimistic insight, healthy lifestyles, and an intellect for education and conversation, is what I hope for myself as I age into golden years.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is to inspire you to look around and find a few of your own “golden girls” to study, interact with, learn from, behave like, or simply admire for their tenacious spirits. What can you glean from women ten or twenty years older from you right now to help you? What can you do now to ensure you end up like them in your golden age? Do you have a road map or life plan to follow?
If not, ask your own favorite “golden girl” out for coffee tuning into their success strategies and zest for life and business. You’ll be amazed at the wisdom and motivation you’ll gain.
What? Christmas in July?
Tuesday Thoughts, Business Advice for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners
Shopping in a retail store in mid-July, when the weather in Central New York is as nice as you’ll get all year, is one of the reasons I avoid air-conditioned shops. But the other reason is because I’m afraid (a word I don’t use that often) there will be ski jackets, wool hats, and long-sleeve sweaters on sale. You’ve seen it and gasped yourself when your favorite retail stores get a hop on future consumer desires.
Don’t get me wrong as a woman entrepreneur, I certainly appreciate their gusto at jumping on early sales, but as a consumer it drives me crazy. Unless I was packing to visit the Northern Lights or Siberia, winter clothing are off limits in my closet. Hanging onto biking shorts, sundresses, and sandals until the moment the snow flies is more my comfort zone.
But these early seasonal sales get me thinking about what the average solo female business owner should be doing to grab early sales for themselves? It is possible to sell Christmas items in July or land reservations for an end-of-year holiday party mid-summer? I’d love to hear from anyone who is successful at this because all I am doing in the summer is starting to jot down marketing ideas to hit fall season sales as soon as Labor Day rolls away.
Perhaps women in business can gain some inspiration from woolen mittens and Christmas decorations as the temperatures hit 90, if it prompts them to take their laptop outside under a beautiful maple tree and start planning for their own fourth quarter sales program. I still believe launching holiday sales in July when everyone is in vacation mode doesn’t make logical business sense unless they offer a two-for-one sale that includes a free slushy after shopping.
When Mental Doesn’t Equal Medical
Friday Feeling, Alopecia, Insurance Denial, Motivation
Just when a bald woman was really getting excited about having brown locks by the time her first-born son gets married, she receives a special note from Excellus Blue Cross, Blue Shield saying:
“You have asked for Olumiant because you have a diagnosis of alopecia universalis (full and complete loss of hair). According to our policy, the use of Olumiant for the treatment of alopecia universalis is considered COSMETIC as defined as used to IMPROVE a patient’s appearance and/or self-esteem. The use of the drug, whether approved or not by the FDA, for a cosmetic use is considered not MEDICALLY necessary.”
If you could see the cartoon bubble above my shining bare-naked head that once confidently led me in front of thousands of women to speak, you’d see that sometimes medically and MENTALLY necessary are one in the same.
If you read the blog post just prior to this one, you’d see without hair, I am reluctant to go to my 40th High School Reunion, and literally sweated from my exposed brow last weekend at my husband’s associates outdoor wedding because I couldn’t find an appropriate hat to wear to the formal affair. I’m not sure the bride and groom wanted a bald chick at their fancy wedding.
As one person said, “When will the insurance companies and health institutions realized medical and mental go together?” Excellus Blue Cross Blue Shield, like so many people I worry about, look at me as a cosmetic, shallow human being with only the image of Hollywood to guide me in my personal life. I don’t want to grow my hair back for cosmetic reasons but for holistic ones where I feel normal again and my future grandkids don’t have to call me “Grandma Baldie.”
Is it a shame to want to have hair for both of my son’s weddings? How about a shame to want to be able to inspire thousands of more women at a podium again like I’ve done for 25 years because my self-image has been wrecked by the loss of hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes. Come on, insurance companies, are you that insensitive and dumb? If you, the person typing the letter that came to me, or the medical doctor who came up with the paragraph, lost every single strand of hair from their body, which made you step away from your career and parts of your life, would you write the same words?
Hey Excellus, you can step in my shoes any day because my hairy toes aren’t in them anymore. You can eat at my dining table knowing you won’t find any hair in your spaghetti. You can ride with me bald every day for 15 miles to see me find happiness because no one cares when a bald person bikes.
Treat people with life-altering, not life-threatening illnesses, the same. We deserve the coverage and hope to return to our former 100% healthy and mental ways of life.
Women TIES 