Teaching Our Sons to Advocate for Women
Thursday Thoughts, Inspiration, Motivation for Women
One night I was sitting on the couch watching the 2015 Oscars, with my husband and son, when Patricia Arquette won the Best Supporting Actress role in “Boyhood.” I remember the moment vividly because she ended her speech powerfully with these words, “To every woman who gave birth to every taxpayer and citizen of this nation, we have fought for everybody else’s equal rights. It’s our time to have wage equality once and for all and equal rights for women in the United States!” Immediately I jumped off the couch applauding and clapping in my living room just like Meryl Streep and Jennifer Lopez did at the same time in the audience saying, “That’s what I’m talking about!”
My 22-year-old son looked at me and said, “Mom, women are equal in the world.” I looked at my handsome, college-educated boy and said, “Thomas that is not true. She is talking about pay equality and women do not have it yet!” He started disagreeing with me more when I said, “Until you get married and your wife is earning less than you do for the same job you do, you won’t feel the impact of wage discrimination. Plus, you are cheap so you’ll really notice it then!” He didn’t reply. I stated my case too well and he isn’t living with a wife making less money than he is that overall decreases their family income. I know he will grasp it one day when he marries and the issue becomes “his issue!”
I have always supported women running for political office because I believe until more women are making and passing laws that affect females, we won’t have equality. After all, men don’t live a woman’s life. Even after being married for 34 years, my husband wonders why I’m so glued to the television and social media when there is a vote on something that affects women. He called me “too political” once to which I responded, “I’m an activist for women’s issues!” I love him. He’s smart, but he isn’t a woman and he hasn’t lived my life.
He couldn’t have felt what I did at my first job in Philadelphia when a creepy 60-year-old male client of my prestigious boss kept inviting me overseas with him, brought me gifts, put his hands around my shoulders, and called me “sweet hips.” He might have been mad the man was sexually harassing me but he never felt it the way I did. He wasn’t walking in my heels.
I have done some great things in my life supporting, fighting and advocating for women entrepreneurs but the best thing I did was to be honest and forthcoming sharing my life experiences with my sons so they could be different kinds of men entering the workplace. It worked because my son, who once questioned inequality facing women, works as an Orthopedic Surgical Physician’s Assistant under a female surgeon in a women’s sports medicine office with all women. I’m not sure he would have accepted this position if it wasn’t for his feminist upbringing.
Wednesday Wisdom: 101 Years Later
| Wednesday Wisdom, Wednesday Morning, Inspiration, Motivation for Women |
| 1923 was also 3 years after women won the right to vote and the ERA – Equal Rights Amendment – was introduced in Congress by two Republicans. It was authored by Alice Paul, head of the National Women’s Party, who led the suffrage campaign. It would take almost fifty years later on March 22, 1972, for ERA to be approved by the full Senate without changes and set with an arbitrary time limit of seven years for ratification. 101 years as of today, it has not been fully voted on or approved making women less than equal to men in our nation’s constitution. |
| I had the privilege of accompanying the organizers of the ERA Bus tour including Carolyn Maloney, a 23-year fighter for the ERA’s ratification and past Congresswoman, along with the immediate past president of NOW (National Organization of Women), local NOW members, and others, visiting Republican Representative Brandon Williams to ask him to be one of 4 signatures left to bring the ERA to the floor for a vote. We ended up meeting his Chief-of-Staff instead who couldn’t promise Rep. Williams would sign it. |
| Visiting local politicians, and meeting with media or national figures is not intimidating, but rather empowering, knowing you are trying to change the world by meeting with people with some power to help make things happen. I’ve sat in other places fighting for wigs to be covered by insurance for alopecia and cancer patients, championing pay equality in front of a panel of NYS representatives, and asking Governor Kathy Hochul to speak at my Women TIES Retreat. |
| Monday, a week from meeting the ERA Bus tour organizers, I found myself in Rochester for an appointment and the thought of visiting Susan B. Anthony’s grave popped into my head. The grave was located 5 minutes from where I was indicated a sign to visit it and be even more inspired to help with the ERA passage. There I met two women eager to find her grave too. We talked about the ERA issue, the upcoming election, women supporting women in politics, and democratic values, and we ended up hugging before we went our separate ways. I am sure Susan B. Anthony was looking down proud of this impromptu meeting and conversation. |
| Today’s Wednesday Wisdom has a specific request along with a general wisdom.First, remember when like-minded women meet and have an agenda, anything good can happen. Sometimes we find those women by happenstance and other times when we accept an invitation to support them. Don’t forget to look for other women on your journeys this week. |
| Second, I ask that you sign the ERA petition we are presenting to get the ERA on the floor for a vote and send it to friends. All you need to do is follow this link and sign your name. Nothing more, nothing less. It is much easier than what Susan B. Anthony and our foremothers have done to try to give women a chance for an equal world to live and prosper in. Thank you. |
Wednesday Wisdom: Passages
Wednesday Wisdom, Wednesday Morning, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Females
| Brick steps, oak trees, front porches, flowering plants, and driveways set the scene of early morning passages from summer to fall, beaches to classrooms, and loud houses to peaceful havens. Images are taken and instantly displayed to share the start of another journey. Today’s social media images beam of children dressed in their best, wide-eyed and joyful, passing from freedom’s end to scheduled beginnings – anew, fresh, ready, and excited to see what is behind a new classroom door. |
| In 1976, Gail Sheehy, an American author, journalist, and lecturer, wrote one of the ten most influential books of our times called Passages. Although I was at the beginning of my teen years, the soft-covered book was in our house bought during a Cape Cod vacation. Some of my earliest “wisdom” years came from reading books from self-help authors such as Sheehy’s Passages, Norman Vincent Peale’s Positive Thinking Every Day, and Wayne Dyer’s The Sky’s the Limit while sitting on my dock on the lake. I assumed I liked reading these self-help books as I transitioned from elementary to junior high school when so many changes occurred. |
| As I witnessed these beautiful smiling images of school kids today, I remembered taking the same pictures of my sons standing near the road waiting for the school bus. Now they are 33 and 29-year-olds working in the Greater New York City area, and one is a new dad. The truth is time doesn’t stop, our kids grow up, we morph into mature women, and through another season into a new place whether we like it or not. |
| Passage can be defined as “the act of going from one place to another or changing from one condition to another.” Women entrepreneurs pass through doors to establish their companies, enter unfamiliar venue rooms to learn and network with other women, and even travel through changing marketing platforms to stay relevant. Entrepreneurship is always about a passage but we don’t stop to think about it that way unless it’s a new year or a day like today when we all start again in a hushed office or house. |
| Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is a gentle reminder that transitions, passages, and alterations of oneself, home, business, and life are okay. Life is for the living correct? If so, we know life is ever-changing and ever-flowing moving us from one porch, driveway, and beach or office space to another one. The textures of our lives change too as we adjust to adding staff or family, losing people we love, maturing in our personal life or business entity or even gaining wisdom from everyday readings. Rejoice that your journey is a positive one gently moving you forward. |
| At the end of the school day, no matter if you have children greeting you at the same place they left this morning or if you are working longer hours because there isn’t a reason to cook a large dinner anymore, realize today’s passage is a simple transition from one day to the next giving you freedom of choice to embrace and accept it the way you choose. |
Step Into the Syracuse Acting World
Inspiration, Motivation, Tuesday Thoughts For Syracuse NY and CNY
The beautiful summer sun was illuminating the room as I stepped into it. Scattered around the space were people of all ages and talent levels. Some were writers, others actors, some directors, but most importantly all were there to support two table reads.
According to Master Call, a table read is one of the most important steps in the production process for a film. It offers a chance for creative team members to gather together to hear the script read aloud, providing invaluable insight into a script.
This evening’s table reads were “Old Money, New Habits” by Alexis Martin; and a follow-up to the scene study of “Tuesday Morning” by Jay Merante. The event was produced by Syracuse Actors Studio and Actor Laura Stisser. The Syracuse Actors Studio is a free monthly meetup for actors to learn from and practice acting with each other.
Although my mother used to produce, write, and direct her adapted plays for her children’s musical theater company. I ran major event planning meetings with key people for thirty years, I haven’t sat in a space watching the brilliance of actors read spontaneously from a script performing their roles on the spot. It was fascinating.
As everyone applauded the writers after both readings were done, I looked around the now darkened room to see people of all ages, ethnicities, and experience levels chatting, laughing, and enjoying the two reads. “What a great tribe,” I thought as I departed, knowing for certainty I don’t have the talent to act, but perhaps write.
Central New York is fortunate to have this amazing group of individuals committed to each other’s theatrical dreams. If you want to get involved with this group, find them at https://www.facebook.com/SyracuseActorsStudio. At their next monthly meeting, step into the light of their space and perhaps find a new tribe to support your filming, acting, writing, or directing dreams.
Monday Motivation, Monday Mood, Political Street Theater, Joyful Childless Cat Ladies
It was a quiet Sunday morning as I approached the Delevan Art Center parking lot in downtown Syracuse. As I pulled in, my high school friend Amy Bartell, an artist and art teacher with a very creative mind, organized a few women who arrived early. A portion of the parking lot was taped off in yellow ribbon where the “stage” was set for a unique gathering of childless, cat-loving, democratic women and a few men.
With my “Votes for Women” banner slung over my pink shirt and purple skirt with an old-fashioned white hat with an ode to the suffragettes, I took my place directing traffic into the cornered-off lot. The once quiet Sunday afternoon turned into laughter, conversation, and bubbly enthusiasm as people gathered to livestream and tape the Charleston group dance for Kamala Harris and Coach Tim Walz.
When Democratic Presidential Nominee Kamala Harris spoke at the DNC last week, one of her mantras, straight from her mother’s mouth, was “If you want something changed, do something about it.” With the election approaching, she meant to vote, work the polling booths, knock on doors, drive neighbors to the polls, or do anything else to support the upcoming election.
Amy Bartell took that “do something” to create an opportunity to host a Charleston Dance Party (aka Street Theater) and invite anyone who identified (or not) as a “childless cat woman” which came out of the mouth of the Republican VP nominee JD Vance. 50 other people joined and decided doing joyful dancing with others was one of their calls to action.
The finished product which can be viewed at this link: Childless Cat Ladies Do The Charleston (youtube.com) was then sent out into the social media stratosphere for all to share if they too, agreed to bring some collective joy into the election. I learned over the last 3 decades that bringing women together to support women in business, sports, and equality events naturally illuminates the atmosphere and sends light waves everywhere.
In the end, women dancing the Charleston won’t take the place of every person voting, but we sure hope it inspires some who might not think of voting for the first female president, to do something of their own accord to make it happen, just like we said in the beginning of the video, “We aren’t going back!”
Swim Teams, the DNC, Men & Women
Friday Feelings about Swim Teams, Growing Up, and Equality
As I kicked across my sparkling pool on a beautiful end-of-summer Friday morning, after watching the DNC all week and attending a Women in Sports Night at our AAA Baseball Game last night, a memory arose I had forgotten. It might have started my feminist approach to supporting women in sports, equality, and life.
Due to a lack of funds to support a Girl’s Swim team in 1978 when I was in 8th grade, our school allowed girls to join the Boy’s Swim team, practicing and competing with them for the year. Four of us decided we could work out and compete as hard as the guys in our grade, so we joined.
Having specific sex assigned bathrooms, was the only place we were separated from our male peers. We practiced with them in common lanes, swam against them in practices, had mixed relays at meets, and traveled on the same bus. They didn’t care, and we didn’t care. It was fun as a teenager to be near the opposite sex, honestly.
The four of us never felt weird, intimidated, or different sharing the experience with them. It might be one of the events that formed my mindset of equality at a tender age. Their acceptance of us, our acceptance of them, and our joint team mindset.
Although I was not raised with brothers, I had male cousins who would let me compete with them in basketball, baseball, diving competitions, and skiing down black diamond slopes. They didn’t care I was a girl. They let me join in and their friends were that way too. Sometimes I wonder if it was just the mindset of the late 70’s or the way our family raised us. There were ten grandchildren total – five girls and five guys – equal at the dinner table, in love and affection from our grandparents, and on the playing field. I never thought I didn’t belong where men were because of this.
I always believed women belonged in sports. As I aged, I wanted to even the playing field for girls and women, and do. It took swimming in my pool today, the rise of women at the DNC, and possibly electing the first female President, and the importance of both men and women, giving each other a chance to live, compete, and ascend in life, sports, and politics.
Wednesday Wisdom: How to Handle Labels
Wednesday Wisdom, Wednesday Morning, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners
| Sitting around a table in a cozy corner of a coffee shop with two women, we caught up on news and wisdom flowed. Although the dialog began focused on careers and business, it soon turned to personal matters, as it usually does when females gather. It wasn’t t the length of years we knew each other, but rather the comfortableness within our relationships that created space for warmer subjects. |
| The word ‘label’ arose as we talked about personal matters. A perfect example was when one stated, “I like both white and red wine, they are ultimately the same product, but wear different labels.” It got me thinking about the labels we are accustomed to in politics, business, and society. |
| I’ve never judged people by labels but by the type of person, they were. I especially used this in business allowing everyone, whether black or white, gay or straight, old or young, worth millions of dollars or hundreds, to come to my events and sit at my table. What mattered most to me was whether they were good people, not the societal labels used to identify them. |
| Anyone would guess I’m a feminist by reading my words, seeing my social media posts, or asking my opinion. I am liberal-minded respecting everyone’s decision on how they live. In doing so, I have been drawn to a diverse group of people, and them to me. |
| In the early stages of business, we all have to define our enterprises and the type of business owner we want to be. Using descriptive business labels meant people who aligned with them, became clients; and those who didn’t walk away. It is a way to describe our market segment and cater to them. |
| Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is for you to contemplate what labels you use to define your business. Are they in your mission and plans? Do you share them while networking? How else do you ensure the marketplace understands you and what you are selling? Does your verbiage need tweaking or do you have to get clearer in defining it for yourself? |
| If you don’t know where to start perhaps grab your favorite white or red wine, or maybe both, and contemplate how you and your business want to be labeled. |
Monday Mood, Democratic National Convention, Women
I just listened to a college female, Hadley Duvall, share her story of being raped and impregnated as a 12-year-old girl by her stepfather, and her amazing courage to share her story on a national platform so other women who haven’t spoken about similar situations can be heard. Since the overturning of Roe v. Wade, Duvall has spoken about the consequences of abortion restrictions, particularly those without exceptions for rape or incest.
Her story reminded me of the women who shared their personal stories with me as I prepared to take two buses of women to the Women’s March on DC in January 2017. One of the women I spoke with was raped twice. Her story wasn’t included in my first post but I have gotten to know her and she is a strong, courageous woman.
I was also a survivor of non-contact sexual abuse by a neighbor. Never understanding what was happening at the time because I was too young, it wasn’t until the #Metoo movement that the memories returned. I was invited as a #MeToo survivor to New York State’s Governor’s State of the State in January 2018 sitting next to #MeToo founder Tarana Burke.
I have represented and supported women in many facets of life, but I don’t feel like I have given enough support to women like Hadley, who have suffered sexual abuse. Today, I wanted to encourage you to listen to the DNC Convention to hear Hadley’s story or read it online at https://www.whas11.com/article/news/politics/national-politics/dnc-2024-who-is-hadley-duvall-gov-andy-beshear-kentucky-abortion-rights/417-166ebf62-9988-4c04-9796-6e8596ae87d5
Women have many stories. Read about more of them in my original blog post in 2017. Feel free to share your stories with me. I care.
Thursday Thoughts: What Do You Think of August?
Thursday Thoughts, Thursday Vibes, Inspiration for Women
As a teenager where I spent every summer day on my dock on Lake Delta, I didn’t like August very much. The excitement of the summer began dwindling as back-to-school thoughts, college preparations, and family vacations, took my friends with boats away from the water stranding me on my floating platform. “Why did summer have to fade before Labor Day,” I always pondered.
Fast forward forty years sitting near my pool on the most glorious 77-degree, blue sky day as bright green leaves and grasses start to yellow, and that familiar sense of summer ending crept in. Plucking myself off the poolside lounge chair, I entered my office opening a notice about a marathon in April 2025. “Hmmm, maybe if I apply for it and win the raffle, this will give me something to get excited about and train for,” I thought.
Before I knew it, I submitted my application, gave my credit card for the possible $350 charge if I won, and hit the send button. Understanding the odds of winning the raffle were probably slim since I’m not lucky in random drawings, I didn’t worry about the entry. By the end of the month, I’ll know if I’m in.
“Honey, remember how you wanted to go out West again?” I said to my husband at dinner. “Yeah!” he said, “Well, I entered the Big Sur Marathon in California and if I win the raffle, we can go out there and vacation after I run it.” He gave me that familiar look he gives me when I plan an expensive sporting gig. “If I didn’t run and enter races think of the places you wouldn’t have visited,” I said gleefully. He smirked.
My Thursday Thought for you is what do you do mid-summer when you feel bored or anxious about it ending? Do you plan future enjoyment? Savor every day and moment? Start shopping for the holidays? Make new business plans?
If today is one of those days when the soft, humid, summer breeze has you slightly stir-crazy, sad, or anxious, start looking and planning forward to the fall and winter months when you’ll need to go to a warm beach, try a new race, or even enjoy an ice bucket challenge in the dead of winter to brighten your mood.
Now is the time to either sit back and enjoy the hazy, lazy season, or get planning for the next one.
Wednesday Wisdom: Macro vs. Micro Views
| Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration, Motivation for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners |
The call arrived at midnight, labor had started in a city four hours away. Jumping into our car, my husband and I sped through the darkness of night talking about our lives. It was the macro version – the landscape of 35 years of marriage – leading to this midnight drive, rushed but serene, knowing the event would be blessed from above.
| 22 hours later, the landscape shrunk to a micro version holding our perfectly healthy new granddaughter. We stared at the blended family details of her face with our son’s eyes and nose and daughter-in-law’s round face, olive skin, and slightly dimpled chin. “Where did the long arms come from?” said the nurse as we looked over at our 6’4” son and said “Guess.” |
| In that moment the landscape of our life went from a wide view, to a delicate one as we stared at her in amazement, taking in her soft, bubbly coos. |
| As a 30-year event planner, I understand the macro vs. micro aspects of creating, orchestrating, and delivering a perfect event. The event ideas always begin with a macro vision of the event, but by the day of the event, success is always in the details or microelements. When planning gets confusing, I ask my clients to go back to the macro vision to remember its purpose. |
| It is the same running our businesses. We see the vast landscape of what we are creating. To implement the vision, it is followed by micro plans to develop it into something to run. When we get stuck in running our companies, we must step back from the minutia to remember the purpose and the wider view. |
| Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is to help you remember the Macro vs. Micro principles of entrepreneurship especially if you are in the midst of a rough patch, adding new offerings, having financial issues, or stalled in planning. By dropping back to remember the larger perspective, we can then refocus on the details and get moving again. |
| As I continue to stare at the perfect little features of my new granddaughter Ivy Rose, I also remember she is yet one important part of the larger landscape of my life which continues to be a gift. |
Women TIES 
