Friday Feeling: Ode to Alopecia
Inspiration for Alopecia Awareness Month
Three decades between us. No hair on either of our heads or faces. A quiet, early September meeting in a popular coffee spot allowed us to meet. Tucked in a corner we talked about our shared experiences, although different yet similar. Talk moved from our shared commonality to our mutual passion realizing we were connected more than we thought. Alopecia will do that.
Being bald equals feeling vulnerable. Suspectable to stares, questions, and strangers approaching to hug, ask questions, share their cancer stories, and offer empathy. Lack of hair is like a beacon shining brightly for all to witness even though we are just trying to fit into society.
When you lose your self-image, you can lose yourself. It takes years of reshaping who we see in the mirror to recognize ourselves like we looked when we were first born – innocent, fresh, new – even though the wrinkles, smile lines, and stress of change are also noticeable. What you can’t see on the outside, is the change we must adjust to on the inside.
Finding someone who shares a similar story – or in our case – looks means a lot. A natural understanding of what one has gone through, the transformation that took place, on both the outside and inside. When you find a kindred alopecia soul, you get it. You know it. You feel it instantly and for this I’m grateful.
Wednesday Wisdom: Social Media Gifts
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration, Business Advice for Women Entrepreneurs and Female Business Owners
On Monday, September 11th, a somber day for Americans, I received a direct message on my Instagram account from a young woman. She saw my annual post about my friend Dan Brandhorst who was in the second plane that hit the second Twin Tower. I’ve been posting annual words and photos of him since 2001 on my blog and then sharing the posts on social media outlets.
“I stumbled upon your post about my Uncle Daniel a few years ago but didn’t reach out. It is rare to find people who knew him. Do you have any cool stories about him?” she asked me.
Wondering if this person was sincere or not, I checked out her Instagram photos and noticed a resemblance between her and my friend. I knew Dan had siblings so he most likely was an uncle. I let faith lead me to respond to her request and shared stories with her including him and I and other people attending the Radio City Music Hall for the Christmas Show plus other events we went to together. She never knew he lived in NYC.
We had a nice exchange and on this particular 9/11, I felt more connected to my friend than ever before even though it had been 22 years. Perhaps he knew all along I was honoring his memory or maybe, just maybe, social media marketing does have a positive place in the world.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is to share with you that when you think no one sees or hears what you are placing on social media, think of this story and think again. It might just be that your messages are being seen by the right people at the right time.
Connections happen in person and online and we shouldn’t be so pessimistic about the negative influences of technology when it can create good. No, it isn’t always the case, and more scams than not can take place, but what if for only one day, you make a remarkable connection that makes sharing, posting, and writing extra meaningful to someone else?
To Bruce Springsteen
The Boss. My Chances. My Hope (still)!
This blog post is not about women. It is not about sports. It does not include anything female-focused business either. It is about a desire from 1978 that was supposed to finally be achieved tonight.
You see, I’ve wanted to see Bruce Springsteen perform live since I was in 8th grade living in the small city of Rome, New York when Springsteen hit the scene with his popular album Darkness on the Edge of Town. My best friend Geselle loved the band and her older brother (who had a driver’s license) was willing to take her and her friends to the big city of Syracuse, NY – a one-hour drive to see him perform at the War Memorial.
With a strict Italian mother, I was turned down to take them up on the offer thus leading to an almost lifetime of wanting to see him live. (BTW, Bruce’s Mother is also Italian!)
Two years ago, to try to bring tourists and residents back to the Big Apple after the Covid-19 pandemic, NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio announced a mega-concert in Central Park, featuring big-name acts including Bruce Springsteen. I immediately bought four tickets to see him and the likes of Andrea Bocelli Barry Manilow, Paul Simon, Jennifer Hudson, Journey, and many more acts.
This was finally going to be my chance to see “The Boss” but halfway through the amazing line-up a thunder and lightening storm rose up and ended the concert in the middle of Barry Manilow’s “Copa Cabana” with him not even noticing the urgent need to take cover. Bruce had not appeared yet, and my hopes slammed.
My daughter-in-law, a Syracuse University graduate, whose father Jerry Brenner, helped to promote some of Bruce’s early albums, bought me Born in the USA to listen to. She has a note from Bruce to her father saying, “To the real Boss, thank you!”
So, this was finally my chance to see Bruce in my city – now which is Syracuse, NY (who would have guessed back in 1978), to see him play. Tonight was going to be the night – 9/7/23 – until the concert got canceled at midnight due to a medical issue Bruce is contending with. There I was feeling like I was living my own darkness on the edge of town in real life.
As fans wait for his improvement and rescheduling of the Syracuse concert, I’m a bit skeptical the new date will fall on a date I have open. I’m not a pessimist by any sense of the word, but after 44 years (and that is Syracuse’s lucky number) of waiting, I can only guess the date he chooses doesn’t work.
But I am a tenacious woman so I’ll bide my time until the chance comes to see him in Syracuse and tell my mother thanks for making me wait this long!
Wednesday Wisdoms: Special Awareness Months Can Help Your Marketing Plan
A specific promotion for the month of September flooded my inbox for the past three months. Never believing it was too early or too often to advertise, an organization I followed ensured I knew what was happening the ninth month of the year, and it worked.
Besides September being Blood Cancer Awareness Month, National Alcohol & Drug Addiction Recovery Month, Library Card Sign-up Month, National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and World Alzheimer’s Disease Month, it is also Alopecia Areata Awareness Month.
If you follow specific organizations, you also know what months of the year are important to them by receiving information on creating awareness and fundraising around the subject. Take, for example, Women’s History Month in March, or Breast Cancer Awareness Month in October, and how many events, news, and promotions occur.
Well, it can be the same thing for women entrepreneurs or females who start not-for-profit organizations. Your “focus” might have a month that you can use to communicate to clients, potential customers, and local or national media to help you raise funds or promote special offerings.
As the second business new year begins right after Labor Day, this Wednesday Wisdom is to encourage you to think about how you can use an already established “national month” or create your own, to enlarge opportunities for promotion and publicity. Not only can you create your own month, but you can also pitch story ideas based on the month and your services or goods to the media.
There are limitless possibilities if you put this new to-do-item on your September business calendar to raise awareness and hopefully revenue for your company. Let me know what you do!
Thursday Thoughts: Reciprocity
Thursday Thoughts, Motivation, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Females in Sports
Here’s a simple question: How often do you reciprocate a gift, service, time, or aid after receiving something?
When I was in need of experiencing the sport of field hockey, the Keuka College Women’s Field Hockey team stepped up to the plate and offered me and any of my members to join them one Saturday morning to learn and try the sport. We were taught by the college girls themselves on an early morning after their season had ended, and when I am sure they wished they were sleeping. We gave the team a donation for their time to use in the future.
But with a strong inspirational head coach who believed in my mission of trying every sport once, and a sophomore on the team connected to a member in my organization, these amazing female athletes woke up, instructed and played with us, and then afterward over pizza we answered their business and networking questions.
Earlier this summer, I took one of them with me to Governor Kathy Hochul’s Executive Mansion in Albany to celebrate the 175th Anniversary of the Seneca Falls Convention, which eventually led to the passage of the 19th Amendment giving women the right to vote. I told Kristin, my field hockey student, to make sure to tell Coach Erika I said hello and I planned to come to watch the team in a game.
To my surprise, a few days ago I received a donation from the field hockey team led by Coach Erika for my Boston Half Marathon fundraiser going to the Dana Farber Cancer Center. After thanking Coach in an email she said, “We are so rooting for you and you are so welcome. This is what we put some of our fundraising towards each year, we love donating to great causes like the Dana Farber Foundation!”
But with a strong inspirational head coach who believed in my mission of trying every sport once and a sophomore on the team connected to a member in my organization, these fantastic female athletes woke up, instructed, and played with us, and then afterward over pizza we answered their business and networking questions.
This Wednesday I will travel to cheer on this amazing team in one of their first games of the season to once again reciprocate their rooting for me. There typically isn’t a cost for reciprocity just a lasting bond of gratitude that goes way farther than a bank account. I’ll wear my Keuka College Field Hockey gifted to me after our November event to cheer on my “wolfpack.”
Try to do more, give back more, and reciprocate more to widen your circle of friends and love.
Wednesday Wisdom: Steady Your Gaze
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration for Women Entrepreneurs, Women in Sports, Female Entrepreneurs
Lying flat on a board, a little wider than my body, I stared up at the deep blue sky with cotton clouds and put my hands in the warm Bay Creek River. Listening to the calming voice of our instructor, the ever-positive Lynne Boucher, five of us settled into the calm of a late August afternoon.
Ever so quietly, we heard the creek reeds jostle in the late summer breeze, the water rippling, birds chirping in the wild, and even far away traffic on the road leading to our destination tickling our eardrums. “Ah!” it was so worth the wait.
In business, as in life, you have to be patient sometimes. This was our third attempt trying Stand Up Paddleboard Yoga for my lifetime sports goal. Bobbing next to me on SUP boards were four willing women, all of whom were entrepreneurs ending their summer office hours in peace. We were all hesitant paddling out to the perfect spot in the creek until we got our feet under us and natural instincts took over.
“I was stressed thinking about trying this sport today, but it was so relaxing.”
“It was easier than I thought”
“Once you get your balance, it becomes second nature”
All quotes from the women who came and conquered.
We likened the experience to starting a business when females gingerly step into a new adventure, unsteady at first in an unpredictable situation, until they gain their footing and steady their gaze, and what is new becomes familiar helping to propel them forward into unchartered waters. SUP Yoga has a sense of similarity to entrepreneurship if you are wise enough to notice.
As Lynne took us through contemplative poses all while “our floor” was moving below us, we struck many recognizable poses like downward dog, and child’s pose, and eventually moved up to tree pose and even jumped up off our boards into the air. No one fell in but delighted in the playfulness of yoga on a floating board in the middle of the afternoon.
I always relish the delight of taking women with me on new sports journeys to embolden them. Women can do so much more than they think they can do. Sports is just an avenue for pushing oneself a bit further and strengthening one’s mind about what else one can do.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is to gently inspire you to keep trying more and more new things in your life – whether in business or sports. We have more gusto in us than we know. We have a limitless amount of attitude to try. We only live and work one life so pushing the limits is an amazing way to test one’s abilities.
As this summer ends and your new business chapter begins after Labor Day, think about standing tall on a wobbly paddle board with women by your side, encouraging you to keep standing, trying, breathing, and believing you can do anything your mind tells you to do. You will find your strength.
** Photos and lessons by Lynne Boucher of Yoga Revolution in Rochester
Wednesday Wisdom: Act Now
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration, Motivation for Women Entrepreneurs
As soon as the message came through my phone, I said, “Yes.”
Without a moment of hesitation, I accepted an invitation to go to Congressman Brandon William’s office in Syracuse to join some women from Rochester’s Breast Cancer Coalition to thank him for his support of the Department of Defense Breast Cancer Research Program and for his support of the Metastatic Breast Cancer Access to Care Act.
Although it is not October – aka Breast Cancer Awareness Month – yet, I know the truth of losing women entrepreneurs – some of them members and good friends – to breast cancer. Annually I learn of at least 5 women who are recently diagnosed, in treatment, or survivors. It hits my demographic the most and has always made me angry as well as proactive as I can be in helping the cause.
As a bald alopecia woman, I get countless references to having cancer or being a survivor myself. Typically, the person asking me has someone with the disease or someone who passed from it. I always allow them to share their story with me. Many times, they ask what type of cancer I have, other times, they don’t ask and just assume. I have come to know it is really about them sharing their story, not so much about my story.
So, when I got the opportunity to share the stories of the women, I know who have passed from metastatic breast cancer, one of them a very close friend last August, I am glad I can use my voice and take time out of my day to advocate. This Act if passed will get rid of the 24-day-month waiting period for Medicare and the 5-month waiting period for Social Security Disability Insurance to begin.
You know as a woman entrepreneur when you are sick or are caring for a terminally ill person, you can’t work your job and conduct business so getting some monetary and insurance benefits is essential. This will be my angle – the woman’s entrepreneurial angle, story, and plight.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is to remind you to be an advocate for a cause you care about. Advocating for elected officials is just one way to proactively get involved in helping a cause. Also, look for local or national organizations that lobby for your particular cause and get involved. Don’t wait until you are diagnosed with something to use your valuable voice. Act now.
Wednesday Wisdom: Creating Something Beautiful
Wednesday Wisdom, Inspiration, Motivation for Women Entrepreneurs, Female Business Owners
Arriving in the bridal suite ready for makeup and wig application, my beautiful daughter-in-law Rachel sits beaming in a chair getting her wedding glamour applied. At the age of 28, she really doesn’t need anything to enhance her appearance but it was her special day. Her equally stunning bridesmaids sat on couches with their light blue dresses on waiting for their turn or just trying not to mess up their already applied glam.
This group of women was so individually beautiful. One was over 6’ tall looking like Wonder Woman’s Gal Gadot. Another one was dainty and blonde like Reese Witherspoon. One of them, Rachel’s sister looked identical to her with browner hair. They came in all sizes, shapes, and colors. As I walked in with a hat on my head for my transformation, my new favorite girl squad said, “You look so beautiful already!”
As I approached the 14-year woman entrepreneur who does professional makeup and hair, I told her about my condition so I could take off my hat to be whipped into a normal-looking woman – or at least the woman I used to see in the mirror. As I walked out with my makeup applied but my wig still off the squad squealed, “You look fantastic!”
Sitting down with my wig in my hand the other female entrepreneur, an independent hair stylist, fixed my wig with natural spiraling curls to match some of the bridesmaids. When I turned around with my complete look, my team of female supporters yelled, “WOW, how stunning you are!” Tickled pink, I asked them to be my entourage for the rest of my life.
Arriving back in Syracuse after the week-long wedding celebration, a special package was waiting for me. I opened it to find the bald Barbie I ordered after seeing the Barbie movie and finding out the National Alopecia Areata Foundation sold the unique dolls for a $25 donation. The doll was made for alopecia and cancer patients. I bought it for a future granddaughter so she had a doll that resembled me. Although the wig that came with it was blonde, it also had black sunglasses matching that part of my bald look perfectly.
I am touched by a company like Mattel that donates these bald Barbie dolls to Children’s Hospitals, the Alopecia Foundation, the Cure Search, and UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital to comfort children and raise money.
Today’s Wednesday Wisdom is for you to consider what unique donations of products or services you can provide to a cause close to your heart that is tied to your business, philanthropy, or personal mission. What a wonderful world you can create by being as innovative, inclusive, and thoughtful as a major company like Mattel.
As my bald Barbie’s shirt says, “You are brave. You are strong. You are beautiful.” I hope you think of creating something unique to inspire and support others.
Monday Motivation: “Perfection”
“I just want it to be perfect,” the groom-to-be said as the threatening skies rose above the gorgeous outside deck overlooking the white capping dusty grey waves as they swelled. “There are a lot of definitions of perfect, honey,” I said to my son. “Perfect is finding the woman to love for the rest of your life. Perfect is the group of friends and family gathered here. Perfect is so much more than the weather,”
as he peered above and out at the sea nervously.
I know what he wanted – a gorgeous sunny day with crystal blue skies above like the previous day at the wedding rehearsal. He didn’t want to be stressed or for rain to fall on his beautiful bride and guests. He paid a lot of money to have the venue and be outside for the ceremony. I understood. We all wanted the same thing.
In thirty years of event planning, I’ve learned to pivot when unplanned situations arise always going back to the main reason for the event. The weather, details, and perfection exist but bringing the client or son back to the main reason for the event is essential. Focusing back on the “reason” and forgetting the ancillary.
With the most extraordinary female rabbi with a cheerful and yet traditional viewpoint, we moved the ceremony up ten minutes to miss the rain predicted midway through the outside ceremony. She made the situation so much calmer and more doable for everyone – a brilliant light of hope in the darkening skies. She was one of the gifts from God during the wedding.
As we linked arms with our son, as done in a Jewish ceremony, with the wedding party lined up behind us, a swell of cheering rose from the back relaxing our son who said that was the moment he settled and knew this wedding was underway and everything would be “perfect.” We walked with him slowly toward the chuppa with periwinkle blue hydrangeas and white roses matching the colors of the roaring sea behind it.
When the bride walked down the aisle with a majority of the important guests in their seats, her white veil went vertical in the air with the darkening skies behind her and her gorgeous smile and twinkling eyes, a sign her father was holding her veil from the heavens, since he passed when she was a freshman in college. With her mother on her arm, she joined our son centerstage. The rabbi announced, “We’ll start and if rain comes down, we’ll simply move the ceremony inside, but I trust God will help us get through this outside.” As promised, he did.
It was the most beautiful ceremony visually filled with abundant love between the couple and the crowd gathered to witness this ten-year-old love officially tied together for life.
As I joined my son on the dance floor inside safe from the downpouring rain, that didn’t matter at that point, I whispered in his ear, “Has your wedding been perfect so far?” He smiled and said, “Yes, Mom it has been perfect. Thank you. I love you.”
Today’s lesson is to redefine your perspective on perfection.
Women TIES 