Thursday Thoughts: How Does Your Ego Direct Your Life?

I often wonder if we are born indecisive or if life forms us into wavering, hesitant beings as we roll along it with all its twists and turns. This temporary state of inaction can be both bad and good for us depending on how often we feel entangled in inconclusiveness. Sometimes we can be decisive in one area of our lives, and yet paralyzed in other parts.

Since becoming a fully bald woman in middle age, who loved her hair, looks and image most of her life, my indecisiveness in making social decisions is based on how confident, or not, I’m feeling about what I look like and honestly who the audience is that will see me.

 I’ve learned I can’t fake my baldness with wigs, especially in the summer, when they are too hot so what’s a girl to do when her 40^th Highschool Reunion is nine days away and her two best friends are in town to celebrate with me but also with people who haven’t witnessed me since post-hair days? Stewing over the details of the reunion have been driving me crazy enough to motivate me to bike 15 miles each day to gain perspective (and endorphins) for saying yes or no.

I love my two life-long friends dearly and they’ve been along for this hairless journey soaking me with love and kindness. But seeing old boyfriends, former classmates who still look stunning, and fighting with my own ego, has me hesitant to make final reservations. Egos are a funny thing. We need them to enable a self-reflective awareness and also to justify our actions to self and others. If our Ego relates to our own concept as a person, then it has me in a literal headlock when it comes to how attractive, and not, I feel as a 57-year old woman seeing former 17-year old friends.

The ending of my reunion story is still unknown to me but I challenge you at least today to consider whether you allow your ego to limit your abilities, opportunities, and chances in business and life? What does your sense of ego allow, or not allow, you to do on a daily or perhaps 40-year basis like seeing old high school friends? It’s an interesting perspective if you really think about it.

Stay tuned for my final decision and insight into this matter in two weeks when my ego will finally make the decision.