Bike Lesson: Stop Wagging Your Fingers

Inspiration, Words of Wisdom, Thursday Thoughts

It is one of those stellar summer days in Upstate New York with a crystal blue sky, warm breeze, swaying maple tree branches, and wildflowers happily showing their colors. I took my trusty bike out for my typical 9-mile bike ride along Onondaga Lake on the West Trail where I bike year long, every season, in all kinds of weather, with all sorts of people. They usually smile especially when I bike without a hat on showing off my alopecia, bald-head that’s just trying to catch some rays.

Halfway through the bike ride today, I saw a man wagging his finger at me as I ascended a hill near the Empower Amphitheater. I assumed he meant the trail was closed ahead due to a concert but when I looked at his scowl, I realized he was shunning me for not wearing a helmet. Wikipedia says wagging a finger at another is a nonverbal way of scolding someone telling them they have done something wrong.  

Since losing all my hair to alopecia six years ago, it took me half that time to get comfortable just walking across my street without a hat on to hide my baldness. I was embarrassed. Little by little, day by day, letting go of something hiding my hair loss gave me strength and quiet confidence. In fact, most people gently smile at me when they see me ride past them bald assuming I have cancer. In fact, today I was wearing my Dana-Farber Cancer Institute shirt after raising $2,000 for cancer. This man’s shameful gesture made me angry for the rest of my ride. How did he know I didn’t have cancer and was simply trying to enjoy my life.

“How about some compassion,” I thought to myself. He doesn’t know why I ride bald. “Who is he to reprimand me since my decision to ride helmet-free is my choice and my choice alone,” I heard myself say. “What a rude thing to do to someone who is just minding their own business on a beautiful summer day,” I continued not letting the emotion go.

If you know me well, you understand I live to the beat of my own drum. I know what is the best thing to do for safety, but I choose otherwise. I also choose to try risking sports when most women won’t. I started and ran two businesses successfully for 30 years. I’ve even tried risky drugs to try to grow my hair back to no avail. I understand risk, believe me.  This dude doesn’t know my story, reasonings, or anything about me and my decisions, so finger-wagging is totally inappropriate.

As we brace for the 2024 Election, I see men wagging their fingers at Kamala Harris, women’s rights, women’s right to choose, and women’s passion to elect the first female president. Hey guys, there isn’t a need to do that because we already have been down this “bike road” before. We understand what you think, and what we, as women, think. Just keep biking on and leave us to bike where we want, freely, without your disapproval. You go down your path. We’ll go down ours. We’ll see where we end up.