Thursday Thoughts: When Hope Turns to Resolve

Inspiration, Motivation, Life Moments, Dealing with Alopecia or Loss

In August it will be a year since my dear friend passed away due to illness from a cancer diagnosis she fought valiantly. She would be perhaps a bit mad with me for saying she ‘fought’ the disease because she didn’t want the disease to define her life, but the factual truth is that her body couldn’t resolve the issue occurring in her cells even though her mind resolved the condition as she lived every moment of every day in a positive, uplifting manner.

As I biked today with only a small amount of regrown hair blowing in the breeze since my alopecia has reversed course again and tamed the new FDA drugs giving hope to me and thousands battling the disease, I realized I was resolved with my current condition.

I had such high hopes six months ago when I saw short white hair growing on my 4-year bald head. Could this be the miracle I’ve been looking for? Could it be my friend acting as a “hairy godmother” since my hair started growing after her passing? I believed it. It worked for ten months. My eyebrows and eyelashes were back. My husband called me Fuzzy as he rubbed my head. I was so hopeful.  

Hope is such an important condition in life. In Wikipedia the definition of hope is so touching, “Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large.” But if you are human, you know that hope can lead to the potential for something to not work out. Defeat is a chance you take when you hope for anything.

I wish my friend was here to have the discussion on hope and resolve because I believe she would appreciate my terminology changing from one fighting to beat a disease to one of resolving to live life anyway when hope is dashed. Feeling the wind in the few hairs left on my head makes me believe that someday there will be another medication or change in my life that will bring back my thick brown hair, but until then I resolve to live my life with as much joy as I can until that happens, just like my friend did.

I am not succumbing or giving up, I’m just learning to live with my real, current condition the best I can with insight, humor, and blessings for all the other wonderous parts of my life. Shouldn’t we all?